My dear Jil, I’m going to talk to you about a virtue not in abundance in this world of ours – patience! Marriage requires patience. Couples have to be patient with each other. Very patient. If you keep flying off the handle, you’re not going to have a happy marriage. Will be full of tension. Besides, it’ll provoke an equal and opposite reaction in the counterparty, your spouse. Two can’t afford to be mad at the same time in a marriage. A wise party will defer even legitimate feelings in that situation. In a marriage, emotions have consequential value. We’re either building our marriage or tearing it down, daily. When in anger we say unconscionable things to our partner we forget we can’t take the words back. And words are powerful. Words can damage human psyche, words can eviscerate affection. If there’s something you should be mindful of in marriage, it’s words. Spouses are supposed to build each other up, not tear each other down. Spouses are meant to be supportive, not denigrative.
My dear Jack, you lost the right to say those things many months ago. And you should know better. I’ve repeatedly told you to learn to take responsibility in life. You can’t impregnate a lady and begin to say those things I hear you speak. For example, it’s rather too late to say she’s not the type of woman you want carrying your child. She may well not be, but she’s already carrying your child. The argument is moot. You open yourself to charges of opportunism if you insist on that line of argument. Means your pursuit of crass opportunism became a fish bone lodged in your throat. As many will rightly ask, if you knew all that why did you sleep with her…why did you stray from your specs?
Jacknjillive.com is a relationship community based on Leke Alder’s #Letr2Jil and #Letr2Jack Twitter series. The knowledge is honest and gritty; tackling real issues about relationships.