Dear Jack, I want you to focus and determine your priorities. As a man you have to be mindful of achievement. Whether we acknowledge such or not, your determination to succeed will impact your girlfriend’s love for you. Being real! No one wants to date a loser! Or a non-achiever. You’ve got to focus on achievement.
You’ve got to have a primary project every year – something momentous you’re pursuing for the year. It may be buying a car, or moving house, or travelling, or getting a promotion, or certification. It’s important for you to be moving in the direction of your dream, but it’s also important you FEEL you’re moving up. If your girlfriend thinks you’re not going to be an achiever, truth is, you may lose her to an achiever. The lazy man soon loses his wife to the industrious and successful, says that African proverb.
Given an option, no one wants to date a man without a future. If you keep making excuses for non-directional propulsion of your life you will lose her. You must have drive; you must have a burning desire to succeed. Desire for attainment is why you do your work with all you’ve got, why you put in your all. It’s why you’re diligent. Desire for achievement is why we’re proactive, it’s why we make the best use of the opportunities we have. It’s why we go to work early, and put in the extra. You must be committed and faithful if you want to succeed. Never underestimate what it will take to succeed. You’ll need to put a whole lot into it.
Note however that zeal without knowledge is bad. That means all the passion without an intelligent approach to work won’t get you far. From a certain level on, promotion is based on grey matter, not red sinew. I want you to want to succeed. Desire for success is critical. Without desire you can’t and won’t succeed. Success is not valuable to you. You build confidence when you have the right attitude towards success.
Then you girlfriend won’t feel she’s dating some lazy bum who keeps rolling on the bed like a door on oiled hinges. She’ll know you’re going somewhere; that it’s just a matter of time and opportunity. Solomon said time and chance happen to all. That means your opportunity will come. But will you be ready? You’ve got to be prepared. Stay focused and hungry. Even the grace of God is partial to diligence.
As you grow older your responsibility will increase. If your responsibility is reducing as you grow older something is not right. Others are carrying your burden. Not many women are keen to take on the responsibilities of a man. It’s wearying. You must develop capacity to take on responsibility. It’s why you work hard to succeed. Please don’t believe all those fairy tales about successful men working just a few hours a day. And don’t be deceived by stories of the successful man who does nothing but play golf all day. Trust me, he’s conducting his business on the golf course. The golf partners are business prospects. You have all these false notions on succeeding that young men buy into. Successful men work hard! And they keep pushing. Successful men know their onions. And their tomatoes.
And you have to become successful before you become successful. That’s the lesson from Joseph. Joseph was successful as a slave. Think about that. Success comes in levels. Are you successful at the level you are? Rich men know they can lose everything in one day. Ask Job. It’s why they keep working. Recently read of a rich man on Forbes List who lost 50% of his value in just two weeks! He lost $12.2bn to the vagaries of the stock market and the truculence of exchange rate mechanism. In two weeks! “In the blink of an eye wealth disappears, for it will sprout wings and fly away like an eagle.”
You want to be a man who can take care of his woman, and take care of his children. Responsibility defineth the man. Even if your wife is successful you want her to respect you. You won’t get respect living off her. Neither do you get respect being jobless, and your only certification is dexterous gigolo-ic virility. What a career! At some point life will catch up on you. Your virility will wind down Viagra, vitamins or not. You’ll simply lose appetite.
It’s important you set the right tone for your life, that you set yourself on a good course. It’s not where you start that matters. It’s your determination to keep going, to keep pushing, on the inside of you. It’s about your determination to become a man of reckoning, to bend the challenges of your life to your advantage. And women recognize that resolve. They have the uncanny ability to discern the possibilities of a man’s life. At some point infantile notions of love and affection will bow to the crude realities of expectations of responsibility.
When there’s no money a marriage soon wakes from fairy tales of love. Love and responsibility are co-travellers. It’s one thing to dream of giving your girlfriend a wonderful valentine experience; it’s another thing to pay for it. And you can write all the love letters you like, but at some point life will ask you to substantiate your love with means. And don’t forget that whilst you’re wasting your life, your peers are zipping past you. Life is a racetrack.
What do you want to become? You must at least have an idea. What do you plan to achieve? Are you making the best of the opportunities you have? Are you diligent at work? Life is a like a draft pick. You never really pick a woman; she picks you, and women know whom to pick. You want to be an assured gentleman, so full of faith. But you must back your faith with endeavor. I wish you success in this sometimes awful project we call life.
Your mentor, LA
© Leke Alder | firstname.lastname@example.org