My dear Jil, let me tell you a very sad story. I want us to draw a lesson or two. There was this genial old man everyone loved. He was kind, compassionate, generous. He prayed for everyone, related with everyone, reached out to everyone, in love. He was a wonderful father and a wonderful father-in-law to the husbands of his daughters. Old men as you know fall sick every once in a while. That said he minded his health. He was a doctor’s dream. If ill, he took medication as prescribed religiously. He greatly respected his personal physician, put faith in his word. He loved his physician. Only rub was the physician didn’t value him as much as he valued the physician. And he hid it well. He saw the old man as no more than a means of livelihood – a recurrent source of income. And the old man never knew, he being lovingly disposed to everyone. He couldn’t know even if he tried. One day our genial old man complained of abdominal pain. Professionalism demands certain tests be carried out for men that age when they complain of abdominal pain. But a lack of concern impairs medical practice. Instead our doctor chose perfunctoriness. He treated the ailment as no more than a digestion problem. He treated accordingly. When an old man complains of abdominal pain to a doctor there are automatic suspects. They must be ruled out. The family of likely causes need to be screened in order to be ruled out. But our doctor took things casually. He even went pedantic, prescribing fibrous diet. That recommended course of treatment would shock even a first year medical student. Because the old man placed so much faith in the doctor he never realized how dangerous the regimen would prove. The old man died. He died obeying irrelevant dietary rules instead of being treated for cancer. The cancer could have been nipped in the bud if the doctor had exercised a duty of care. The pain and the anger is still there for those who truly loved the old man.
One of life’s most valuable resources is faith, trust. We must be careful to be trustworthy. But we must also be careful whom we place our faith and trust in. It’s particularly critical in matrimonial choice. There are things that can only work when we have a true, loving and sincere marriage partner. Which is why sometimes good people end up with bad marriages. They placed their heart in the hands of the undeserving. A generous and loving person who marries the uncaring soon finds the love under-reciprocated. But you can see the nuances during courtship. Your birthday comes and he can’t even get you a card for instance! But when HIS birthday comes he EXPECTS gifts, cards and cakes, as well as Facebook mentions. That is a clear warning you’re casting your pearl before swine. The porcine law is, when we cast pearl before swine the swine will turn around and rend us. Pigs will be pigs however much we cherish and adulate them. If you have a wonderful heart, and you’re loving and kind and he treats you like a common canine, run! If you don’t run from such a fellow you’re casting the pearl called your heart before swine. If he takes your love, takes your money, uses your car but has no regard for you you’re casting pearl before swine. Swine don’t understand human affection. It’s probably interpreted perversely, or as something bothersome. Swine can’t appreciate a thing of value, like pearl. The only valuable thing to swine is mud. Don’t place your heart and faith in the hands of the undeserving.
Marriage is about your life, your future, your health, the very outcome of your life…You can’t afford to place your fate in the hands of an unloving or abusive man. If he’s emotionally abusive, run! He’ll damage your self-esteem. Beware of one-sided commitment in a relationship. A good man cherishes a loving woman. If you’re invaluable and he treats you like trash you already have a portrait of his value system. It’s porcine. In life we need to learn to cut our losses in order to be able to move on. But if we insist and persist in retrieval of some emotional value from the unloving we end up paying a higher price. When we place our fate and faith in the hands of the undeserving we suffer greatly. If you do all the right things in marriage with a terrible partner the results will be adverse. Your love will be used against you in such circumstances. It will be read as weakness. The underserving never know when to stop. The sensory mechanism is compromised by habitual uncare. Don’t waste your life trying to marry the undeserving of your love, affection and devotion. If you marry the undeserving you will go into a tunnel of pain, regret and frustration at your devaluation. And life seems to imply there are those purposed by Satan to ruin the emotional health of others through matrimony. Marriage is an easy channel for the accomplishment of such devastating purposes. It’s an intimate channel. If a man revels in mud, oinks like a pig, behaves like a pig, chances are he can’t see value in a pearl.
Never deny the evidence before you in a relationship. Those who do have eternal regrets. Find a man worthy of your trust, your love, your heart and faith. Be realistic with the evidence in front of you as per your partner. Don’t go interpreting to your detriment. If it oinks like a pig don’t call it a Ferrari.
Your mentor, LA
© Leke Alder | firstname.lastname@example.org