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From Jack

How do I win her Back?

Sir, let me go straight to my problem, I have a girlfriend that I have been going out with for the past five years everything is actually going on well with us.

We are both graduating this year. Actually I just have to be truthful I’m a terrible person somehow when it come to love and caring, she complains that I’m not romantic and honestly I’m seriously trying to be romantic, I don’t know if it’s my nature that I’m not (my mum left my dad when I was four years). I’ve tried everything, and it’s not like I don’t love this girl, I do love her very much. Sometimes she will wake me up in the night trying to advise me on what to do to be romantic and also tell me something that I did wrong that upset her during the day and I will listen and try to correct it.Sir, this whole exercise has been going on for years and up to one level something inside of me tells me that she is trying to make me become someone I’m not, so sometimes when she wants to advise me I will see it as if she is nagging, and when she discovers that I am not interested in her advice, she’ll say that no girl can go out with me, that any girl that wants to go out with me after some weeks that lady will discover that I’m not romantic and the person will run away from me, she kept saying it for almost 8 months, I decided to see if what she was saying is true, so I asked one girl in my school out, during the process she saw the conversation between myself and the girl and she was very angry with me.

Although I said a lot of spiteful things that I was not supposed to say because the new girl knows about my relationship so this new girl was asking what happened between my girlfriend and I, that I’m now asking her out. So in the course of that question I said things that I was not supposed to say, and my girlfriend saw the chat on my phone and she was very angry with me although I pleaded with her, I even begged her with my mum and even her mum before she listened to me. After a month the way she talked to me changed, when I call her on phone she sound so rude to me even when I see her she will talk to me as if we are enemies.
Please sir, I don’t know what to do, I love her and I don’t want to lose her. She is the only girl I think that can take my nonsense and I don’t want to lose her sir, please what should I do sir.

From LA

Dear Jack, call her and let her know exactly how you feel. She’s very angry you tried to date another girl, and then you bad-mouthed her to the other girl. And that’s understandable. I do hope you learn from this experience. All you can do is plead with her and specifically apologise for those hurts.

I think there is still some feelings there for you. But you have to work to win her back. Write her, send flowers, send gifts, send cards – different types with different messages. And pray one sharp dude doesn’t show up!

As to the excuse of your mum leaving your dad at 4. Come on! Millions of people have that experience. Don’t even go there! Being romantic is just loving someone and expressing your feelings sincerely. It’s caring about someone and letting them know. It’s about gifts and acts of kindness, being sensitive to the other person’s feelings – remembering dates that are important to them and being there for them. Most importantly, it’s about being able to say those three famous words undemanded: I Love You!

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