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From Jil

Help! I am Confused About my Sexuality

I’m in dire need of your help. Personally, I believe I should seek for deliverance and counseling sessions but I don’t know viable places to have those, plus my movement is quite restricted. I have been having sexual dreams for the past four nights. To be honest, I’ve always had them since 2011 but never with as much frequency as I have had now. Google hasn’t exactly been of much help, information overload is often the case with the struggle of having to sift through what makes sense and what does not. I do trust your discretion and without any worry I think the following information would assist in you providing advice and direction.

  1. I was drugged and raped at 17. That was 2011 when the dreams began.
  2. I was a lesbian for a while in the same year. Or do I say, engaged in homosexual intercourse for a period of 6 months in the same year 2011, because I really don’t know what determines one’s sexual orientation these days.
  3. I had my first willing sexual encounter with the opposite sex in January 2014. And that lasted for a period of 6months, which broke off because I started dating someone.
  4. I tried porn in 2011 & 2012. Not sure about 2013. But I haven’t experimented with it in this year or the last.
  5. It’s 2015 and I’m 21. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year. Trying to stay “on course”, basically. Four days ago, we delved into the “nudes-sharing trend” and I haven’t been able to read the bible or pray since then. Basically out of guilt. I knew it was wrong but I guess that’s what people refer to a soul tie, where you place someone else’s wants above God’s rules. My boyfriend (male, in case you’re wondering) is a Christian too. He doesn’t see anything wrong with it as long as it’s not sex, basically. Plus we’ve had 7 break-ups in the past 1 year, so I don’t think that’s the solution to my problem.

I don’t know if it’s the nude’s thing that has triggered the recent dreams. Google has come up with a lot of information on that. But it’s been two hours since the last one and I’m scared to sleep back. I gave a chronological flow of my sexually-related history, maybe it’d help you to figure out where the problem is. And in reflection, I haven’t put all that information in one person before.

I know you’re busy but please I’d be forever indebted to you for your advice and direction on this. Please help.

From LA

Dear Jil, you need to see a psychotherapist ( You went through a traumatic experience as a teenager and it’s unresolved. Our society does not pay enough attention to the abuse of rape. It can be quite traumatic.

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