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From Jil

Will Anyone Marry me? I Have a Child Already!

Good day sir, I am one of your followers. I will like you to help me out as I’m so confused about life now.

I am a 200 level student of University of Ilorin, 26 years old, and also a single mother of a 10 years old boy, I’ve never been married but I always have issues when it comes to relationships (never had a relationship last up to two years) I always tell anyone I meet about my son, some of them get to stay a while then leave, others don’t even stay. It always get to me but I keep telling myself it will get better someday, I sometimes feel the pain of being lonely and I sometimes wish my son has somebody responsible to call Father.

Recently, I have been talking with a new friend; I met him through another friend. He’s not based in Nigeria for now, but we have been friends for a few months and he has never asked me out but I am catching feelings. I sometimes get to ask him stylishly but he keeps parrying my questions; I sometimes stay away from him so as to forget him but he keeps coming back to me, two days ago he sent a video of himself singing for me and when I asked what was the motivation for that song, he replied by saying “Loneliness” I felt so bad.  Ever since then I’ve been trying to figure out what he really wants from me.

I was thinking of telling him to stay away from me, and stop being friends with him. I’d appreciate your advice sir, thank you sir.

From LA

Dear Jil, whoever wants to marry you has to accept the fact that you’re a single mother. You’ll have regrets down the line if you don’t include your son in the equation ab initio. It’s up to you when to introduce the fact but the earlier in the relationship the better. Use your judgment. And don’t deceive. There are men out there who see beyond the mistakes of youth and want what makes you a woman – your character, values, strength, care, love and affection. And you want a man who has a mind of his own, knows what’s good for him – someone who’ll value you and defend you.

As for this guy, remain friends with him. You don’t lose anything with friendship. It’s up to him to decide whether he likes what he sees, and whether you outweigh your history.

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