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Choosing a partner

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Dear Jack, what I’m trying so hard to help you avoid is the “20year Mistake.” You see, there are some relationship mistakes we make in life that take twenty years to get out of. I know it sounds incredible but it’s the truth. Continue reading

My dear Jack, I don’t know if you should continue to chase her. You’ve been at it for almost a year. The time elapsed does not qualify for playing hard to get and I’m not sure you’re what she wants. She’s not even making it possible for you to broach the subject of proposal. She’s stylishly dodging the issue. Continue reading

Okay, let’s talk about this “fit” we’ve been talking about. You see, there are three pressure points for men when it comes to relationship. They are the head, the heart, the groin. The order of course depends on each man. For some people the groin comes first, for others it’s either of the other two. A good choice takes cognizance of all three though. Continue reading

My dear Jack, yes, I do find the proverbs of Solomon incredibly fascinating. They’re like the laws of economics. Sometimes they state the incredibly obvious. But if you’re a student of life you’ll notice the obvious is not so obvious. And it’s where we falter.

Continue reading

My dear Jack, I’m afraid I sense in your mail a burden of perplexity mixed with anxiety. You sound like someone looking for solution to an arcane problem requiring a stroke of genius. And that I worry about.  Continue reading

My dear Jil, you are young. Don’t take life in gulps. Take it breath by breath. You can’t rush life. Life has its own pace. That is one hold life has over us. It is true we say: Do not leave till tomorrow what you can do today. But the corollary is equally true: Do not do today what you should do tomorrow. I do understand you want to accomplish, and that desire is driving you. But if you rush life you will make mistakes. And then your speed is slowed down. You’ve got to learn to pace yourself, to move sure-footedly in life. It’s better than a crazed rush. Continue reading

Listen Jil, what do YOU want? I know what everybody wants for you but what do YOU want? Everyone in your family has a matrimonial candidate for you. And so you’re torn between two gentlemen. Your mum of course has her own agenda, which does not necessarily align with your happiness. She’s thinking of what is good for the family fortune, and what is good for public relations, not what is good for you. Your sisters also have their own opinion. (Unfortunately your Dad has no opinion on their opinions). But neither your mum nor your sisters will be in the marriage with you. You will be alone. They will be in THEIR homes Continue reading

My dear Mary, faith is not unthinking. And spirituality should not rob us of intelligence and commonsense. Paul says, “God wants us to use our intelligence, to seek to understand as well as we can.” (1 Corinthians 12:1-3 MSG). You can’t marry a man you’re not attracted to and can’t stand. You don’t even want to be around him! Yet the gentleman keeps telling you it’s God’s will for you to marry him. Continue reading

My dear Jack, no one can force you to marry whom you don’t want to marry. Choice of marital mate is your prerogative. Marriage is an act of will. It’s why we say, “I do”. That presupposes we can say, “I don’t”, even at the altar! You shouldn’t marry under compulsion. If you don’t want to marry someone, don’t! But that doesn’t absolve you of responsibility for the natural consequences of your actions: If you impregnate someone you’ve got to take responsibility for the pregnancy. And please don’t tell me the pregnancy was a mistake. Considering how pregnancy comes about, how can it be a mistake? You went into a young woman. You impregnated her according to the order of nature. If you were not mistaken with penetrative deliberateness, how come the result of your ardour is now tagged a “mistake”? Continue reading

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