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Conflicts

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My dear Jil, there are things you ought to forget in life, things you shouldn’t try to remember. You shouldn’t be regurgitating past relationship trauma, especially if partial amnesia has set in. That’s healing going on.

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Dear Jack, come on! How could you have fallen for this ruse? Clearly this woman targeted you and you fell for it. Any woman could have warned you. Women see these things afar off! And women say men never see these things, that men underestimate devious intentions of the feminine variety. Women can smell a groom raider miles off, which is why they implement strategic defensive maneuvers. This woman clearly set you up. She came needful of emotional comfort with a view. Of course one thing will lead to another. And now she’s pregnant. Only now you realize you were set up. I warned you about opportunistic sex. You ought to be careful, though in your case that advice is no longer applicable. Continue reading

Dear Jack, sometimes we land into trouble about marriage by not intellectually discerning nuances of definition. Last time we spoke I told you the difference between falling in love and the workability of a relationship. They are two different things. A lady can for example fall in love with a wife abuser. But will the marriage work? By the way, violence is a no no in a relationship. Once the line of violence is crossed a perfidious and wanton license of abuse has been printed. Continue reading

My dear Jack, in homicide, detectives are always looking for motive from three factors: money, sex and revenge. I was thinking about that and it occurred to me that these are the very same factors that destroy marriages. You of course know the role of money in a marriage. We’ve discussed this before. A marriage comes under intense strain when there’s no money. Continue reading

Dear Jack, well, I don’t know about your girlfriend hanging out with her ex. Just seems weird. She’s in constant communication with this ex, he asks her out when he’s in town… And she expects you to understand! Seems she enjoys his company. They’re still friends she says, nothing will happen… Continue reading

I think the issue is the inability to take things seriously…things like vows. That’s actually serious stuff. It’s not that he doesn’t love you, and he wouldn’t contemplate leaving you. It’s just that he’s not reached that point in life in which he realizes some things are more serious than they appear to be. He will get there. Continue reading

My dear Jack, take a piece of paper and draw a straight horizontal line. Mark the two ends, and make a halfway mark as well. On the extreme right, write “Pleasure.” On the left write “Pain.” In the middle write, “Hmn!” You’re looking at a map of the possibilities in a marriage. The signposts are pleasure, pain and hmn! You don’t want your marriage or relationship in the pain corner. You don’t want your marriage smack in the middle either. Continue reading

Dear Jack, this may be politically incorrect, but you better run from that marriage if your wife is dabbling in black magic. Your wife dabbling in black magic can’t bode well. You think those spiritual consultants are advising her on fashion? You’d long suspected. What with all the strange substances are turning up in your home. But now you have proof. Continue reading

My dear Jil, if you lose your life to this marriage you will have yourself to blame. Truth is not always politically correct. Neither is wisdom. If I were you I’ll repudiate the advice of those religious folk who insist you should stay in this violent marriage and pray. These people are legalists who do not believe in divorce under any circumstance. Until THEIR child is in danger. Continue reading

Dear Jack, I do hope you don’t mind the truth, ‘cause I’m going to say some very hard truth in this letter. Think of a fluffy whiff of cloud hanging between heaven and earth. That’s how your life is right now. You’re just hung there, not moving forward or backward – Just an eccentric piece of the mechanical vagaries nature. There’s a form to your marriage, just like the cloud. Yet the marriage has no form. Continue reading

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