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Dating

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My dear Jack, let me teach you two laws to be cognizant of in this relationship. The two laws seem obvious, sound almost stupid. Yet they’re so potent and powerful. Sometimes, laws and principles seem so obvious. Take gravity for example. Continue reading

My dear Jil, if you keep cancelling dates like you do, nobody will take you serious. Even the man who’s very much into you and wants something with you will have to give up. Why, you ask. You cancel dates at the last minute, even dates agreed on a week earlier. You blow off guys. Something always comes up – though not always totally unjustifiable. But it all adds up. It shows the regard you have for people and hints at a self-centeredness, and even selfishness. Continue reading

My dear Jil, it’s important you have self-esteem. Without it you’ll auction yourself to the undeserving, or less deserving.  Continue reading

My dear Jil, I’m a bit worried and concerned about this relationship. I think you’re laying yourself open to disappointment if you accept the premises under which it’s being prosecuted. The problem sometimes is, we so want to be in love, to be in a relationship that we jump into approximations of our desires.  Continue reading

My dear Jil, there’s such a thing as emotional stinginess. You can’t be emotionally stingy in your relationship. You want a boyfriend who fawns over you, telling you he loves you… But you deliberately hold back on reciprocation. You don’t want to be emotionally forthcoming, or even gracious, just so you’ll be in control of the relationship. It smacks of meanness, borders on coldness, manipulatedness and hardness. It’s a narcissus complex. If the guy adopts the same self-induced emotional constipation what do you think will happen?  Continue reading

My dear Jack, the average young man will pass through four stages in life post-graduation. By average I’m not talking about a young dude from a very rich home. He’s not an average young man. I’m talking about the young man born without a spoon – silver or wooden. Or without fork and knife. He needs to buy. He’ll struggle at the beginning as he strives to make it in life. He’s got to be driven if he wants to succeed. His relationship dynamics will follow the cadence of his historicity from stage to stage.  Continue reading

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