Register here

Register using an email address

Terms & Conditions

Already have an account? Login here

Register using a social network

Login

Login using your email address


Keep me logged in
Forgot your password?

Login using a social network

Feedback

Letter to Jack

Page 3 of 22
1 2 3 4 5 22
My dear Jack, if you want to survive in this world you need to know the way of the world, how the world functions. The reason you’re disappointed with what has happened is because you failed to properly evaluate the world. The first lesson you have to learn is to properly discriminate friendship. And there are different types of friendships in this world. (We’ve discussed this before). True friendships are rare. That’s because people are fickle, and people will relate to you only as long as you’re relevant. Didn’t King Solomon tell you a friend is born for adversity? And doesn’t that tell you, you ought to have an adversity test for friendship? You need to ask yourself, if I run into trouble would this person be there for me? You need to ask yourself, if everybody turns against me would this person stand up for me?

Continue reading

My dear Jack, you’re going to hurt yourself trying to keep up with the Joneses. You’ve got to know your limitations in life, know the lifestyle you can afford and what you can’t afford. Don’t go and join a club you can’t afford for example. It’s not just about annual subscription, there’s a lifestyle attached. If you can’t afford a boat why join a boat club? It’s a minimum requirement not so? It’s not enough to buy the boat, you must also buy the lifestyle. There are administrative expenses attached to owning a boat. There’s parking fee and maintenance fee. You’re a young entrepreneur. Every penny you spend you have to make it by yourself. You can’t spend what’s not in the bank. The boat bill of a multinational corporation CEO is borne by the company. It’s part of the package. But you don’t have such a package. It’s why you can’t compare yourself to such people. And everyone at the boat club can tell you’re struggling to pay those club subscriptions. I mean how are you going to keep up the $50,000 subscription every year? Your business needs the money. It’s an annual subscription. How will you afford it? How are you going to sustain it?

Continue reading

Dear Jack, the thing about marriage is that it’s easy to just “settle in”. It’s easy for a marriage to become something quotidian – a routine exercise of life, something we do mindlessly. Continue reading

My dear Jack, you lost the right to say those things many months ago. And you should know better. I’ve repeatedly told you to learn to take responsibility in life. You can’t impregnate a lady and begin to say those things I hear you speak. For example, it’s rather too late to say she’s not the type of woman you want carrying your child. She may well not be, but she’s already carrying your child. The argument is moot. You open yourself to charges of opportunism if you insist on that line of argument. Means your pursuit of crass opportunism became a fish bone lodged in your throat. As many will rightly ask, if you knew all that why did you sleep with her…why did you stray from your specs? Continue reading

Dear Jack, you’ve got to loosen up. Loosen up. There ought to be fun in marriage. You can’t be all that serious in marriage. Yes, marriage is serious stuff but there should be fun and play. You’re going to spend the rest of your life with this person. Make the history being created fun! That kind of relationship should accommodate a range of emotions and experiences that are joyful. Life is hard enough, times are tough enough. You’ve got to find moments of laughter and happiness with your partner. Both you and your wife ought to have your rituals of joy. It begins by not taking yourself too seriously, letting your guard down, being willing to be made fun of. Continue reading

Dear Jack, come on! How could you have fallen for this ruse? Clearly this woman targeted you and you fell for it. Any woman could have warned you. Women see these things afar off! And women say men never see these things, that men underestimate devious intentions of the feminine variety. Women can smell a groom raider miles off, which is why they implement strategic defensive maneuvers. This woman clearly set you up. She came needful of emotional comfort with a view. Of course one thing will lead to another. And now she’s pregnant. Only now you realize you were set up. I warned you about opportunistic sex. You ought to be careful, though in your case that advice is no longer applicable. Continue reading

My dear Jack, there is something called fevered imagination which afflicts young men. When we have a desire for a woman our imagination can be so fevered we begin to romanticize what does not exist. Your imagination will produce another version of the lady for you. It will be a warm imagery powered by desire. You will begin to see what is not in the real life person, get pleasure from the phantom your imagination creates. If you juxtapose the real life person with the fevered imagery, the real life imagery will feel cold. Can jolt to reality. The fevered edition of the woman produced by your imagination is desirable because you’re projecting your desires. In other words, you’re falling in love with the woman you created in your imagination, not the real life person.

Continue reading

Dear Jack, the young man I spoke to you about… He gave me the letter his father wrote him. Was in the probate envelope. Very touching letter. I’ve asked for permission to share it with you: “My dear son, a good father prays that his son be greater than him. May you be greater than your father. May your father’s accomplishments pale in comparison to what you’ll achieve in life. Your father’s achievements only portend the scale of your accomplishment. May you be eminent. Continue reading

Love is what makes all the difference, and you’ll be doing yourself a lot of harm marrying someone who doesn’t love you. What’s the point really? What’s the point of a marriage without love or affection? Why go into such? Without love marriage becomes a dry fig. There’s a harshness about it. It’s a coarse grainy dryness. Such dryness has the micro rough quality of a harmattan haze. It’s dusty and wheezy. A marriage without love is unimaginable yet imaginable. Continue reading

My dear Jack, I’m not sure this relationship will work. You have differing philosophies of life. You’re extremely conservative, she’s liberal. Your outlooks are not the same. You’ll never have the same view. Because your outlooks are not the same your expectations will clash in the marriage. You seem to want a domesticated entity who’ll adhere to very traditional notions of marriage. Continue reading

Page 3 of 22
1 2 3 4 5 22
Page 3 of 22
1 2 3 4 5 22

RECENT POSTS

SEARCH LETTERS

SEARCH BY DATE

TWEETS