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Letter to Jack

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Dear Jack, the thing is, everyone has an idea of how he or she wants to be loved. That determines a lot of things in marriage. When you don’t love according to prescribed desire, every other expression of love goes unappreciated. For example, if your woman loves texts and conversations, without those texts she may not feel fully loved by you. And unfortunately, in a relationship feelings are facts. They take on the character of events. That doesn’t mean you’re not putting in your best effort to love her. But there’s effort and there’s appreciation of effort. Continue reading

Dear Jack, both you and Jil have to learn to settle your quarrels internally. Resorting to third party adjudication of your matrimonial disputes ought to be a last resort. Really last resort. Every relationship ought to have its own conflict resolution system, or simple fights will lead to break up. It’s why you have to have a review mechanism for disagreements. There’ll always be points of disagreement. Continue reading

My dear Jack, you’re letting your hormones decide for you, and you’re going to make a mistake. Of course sexual attraction matters in a relationship. But it’s not the all and be all. There are other things to consider. Character matters. And so does temperament. And cultural values – things like taste, exposure, knowledge… The key is to have a balance. That balance is an aggregation of critical factors like character as well as custom factors. “I like a woman who sings and looks like Adele” is a custom factor for example. It’s a peculiar desire. Continue reading

My dear Jack, let me give you a simple guidance system for your marriage. I know there are so many rules on how to love a woman, so much so the rules rival the Book of Deuteronomy. But love is supposed to be quite natural. Continue reading

My dear Jack, but you’re not going to marry her mother or sister! You’re going to marry her, not her family. If she’s critically deficient in character the goodness of her family can’t save the marriage. Neither her mum nor sister is going to live with you. 

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Dear Jack, I think you should avoid the temptation of compulsive dating. I understand the loneliness thing. It’s nice to have someone you can call your own, someone you can go out with. There’s just that thing about showing up at a social event with a partner.

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Dear Jack, thank you for the present you sent over the hols. I’m most appreciative. Thank you. Just returned from vac. Well, it’s another year. We grow older each and every year. May we grow in wisdom! If there’s nothing you pray for this year it’s wisdom. Continue reading

Dear Jack, I’d like to bring to your remembrance some lessons I have shared in my letters to you this year. I hope these precepts resonate again and you keep them in mind as you approach the new year.  Continue reading

Dear Jil, I can’t get hold of Jack. Can you please get this letter to him?
 
“My dear Jack, may be advisable not to go straight into pregnancy after wedding, unless there are extenuating circumstances.

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Dear Jack, do you know what homunculus means? It means little man. When you’re petty and you nag no end, you’re designating yourself homunculus – a little man. (As is the man who inflicts violence on a woman. He’s also homunculus – little man). Continue reading

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