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Letter to Jil

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Dear Jil, I really don’t blame your parents for insisting your boyfriend must have a job before marriage. You may not understand because your experience of life is little. And your knowledge of men is limited. But your parents know, and they’re actually trying to protect you though you may not see it. The makeup of men is radically different from that of women. Both sexes react to lack differently. I’ll talk to you in a bit about that, but truth is you don’t even know how you will react when there’s acute lack. Continue reading

My dear Jil, you have to be careful about a self-centered attitude in a relationship. It has consequences. The problem many times is that people who exercise this trait are so used to it they’re not even self-aware. They’re used to getting away with intolerable behavior. That is until the pliant boyfriend says he’s had enough. Then like Esau they begin to cry to have the man back. They begin to beg for what was theirs. Unbearable behavior cannot be your operating system. You will lose the relationship, even in marriage. Selfishness inoculates against sensitivity. Continue reading

My dear Jil, I did warn you about this guy. Wish you’d listened to me. The guy doesn’t love you. He just wanted to use you, and you knew that. Funny I spend more time trying to dissuade young people from making ruinous marital decisions than on any other issue. If I were you I’ll proceed to church to do thanksgiving it didn’t work out. Stop crying. God delivered you. Of course it’s a painful thing to have a crashed relationship. Unless you weren’t invested. Hope deferred makes the heart sick. Continue reading

*A VALENTINE SPECIAL FOR MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE

My very own Jil, I was in church yesterday and the minister preached on gratitude. (I know you couldn’t attend). In order to make us appreciative of God’s graciousness, the minister asked us to list five things we’re thankful for. Continue reading

My dear Jil, was so nice meeting you in Houston! We were glad – wife and I. Told you you’ll overcome! Given all you’ve been through you can legitimately claim to be a conqueror. You can’t give up on your singing. You’ve got to keep at it. You’re a beautiful and talented singer! It’s important you sing so you feel fulfilled using your talent. Continue reading

 Dear Jil, in my last mail I forgot to tell you about their marriage. I mean the marriage of the couple I spoke to you about. Their home is relentlessly filled with happiness. There’s a lightness and airiness to that home. It’s as a home should be.

Continue reading

My dear Jil, it’s a brand new year, and the year is so full of promise. Sorry I couldn’t answer your mail over the hols. I was away. Trying to catch up on my mails. There’s a ton in my box. Continue reading

Dear Jil, I present lessons from my letters to you in 2016. I hope you take them to heart as you enter the new year. Continue reading

Dear Jack, can you help me get this letter to Jil?

“My dear Jil, let me tell you a little bit about divorce, what many people don’t get… I’ve listened to all you said about your friend and his marriage. But these things are more complex than we imagine. And divorces don’t happen overnight, except of course in Vegas. Continue reading

My dear Jil, I get worried when I get mails like yours. Come on, think! By your own admission this guy is temperamental and you doubt he loves you – you feel he’s using you as placeholder. Continue reading

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