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Sex

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Dear Jack, I think you’re conflicting sex for love. You don’t really know the love of a woman, just sex. You’re at that age testosterone is raging like a bull and primal desires are seeking to overrun your life. The love of a woman is much more than sex Jack. You don’t get it. To the woman who truly loves you sex is a sacrificial offering, an oblation – the religious giving of self. Continue reading

Dear Jil, your ex can’t be looming in the background of your marriage like a recalcitrant demon. Your ex can’t be featuring in your marriage like some malodorous atmosphere. You’re going to break your marriage. You’ve got to learn to let go of your past relationship. It’s gone. You’re married now, to another man. You’re just going to bring complications into your marriage hanging on to your ex. Continue reading

My dear Jil, if a man won’t respect you, what are you doing in the relationship? This guy has no respect for you. He’s treating you like dirt, like he’s doing you a favour. You have a “take it or leave it” relationship, like he’s got so many options lined up and you’re just lucky to have him. How can someone you claim is your boyfriend treat you like a disposable? What kind of relationship is that? And you’re only confirming his opinion of you with your attitude to the relationship. You seem resigned. You’ve put yourself in a blackmail position. It’s why this guy has no sensitivity for your feelings. He sleeps with you, treats you like trash, talks anyhow to you, is insolent, crude, and you think you have a relationship. This guy has no regard for you. Continue reading

My dear Jack, you’re letting your hormones decide for you, and you’re going to make a mistake. Of course sexual attraction matters in a relationship. But it’s not the all and be all. There are other things to consider. Character matters. And so does temperament. And cultural values – things like taste, exposure, knowledge… The key is to have a balance. That balance is an aggregation of critical factors like character as well as custom factors. “I like a woman who sings and looks like Adele” is a custom factor for example. It’s a peculiar desire. Continue reading

My dear Jack, you lost the right to say those things many months ago. And you should know better. I’ve repeatedly told you to learn to take responsibility in life. You can’t impregnate a lady and begin to say those things I hear you speak. For example, it’s rather too late to say she’s not the type of woman you want carrying your child. She may well not be, but she’s already carrying your child. The argument is moot. You open yourself to charges of opportunism if you insist on that line of argument. Means your pursuit of crass opportunism became a fish bone lodged in your throat. As many will rightly ask, if you knew all that why did you sleep with her…why did you stray from your specs? Continue reading

Dear Jack, come on! How could you have fallen for this ruse? Clearly this woman targeted you and you fell for it. Any woman could have warned you. Women see these things afar off! And women say men never see these things, that men underestimate devious intentions of the feminine variety. Women can smell a groom raider miles off, which is why they implement strategic defensive maneuvers. This woman clearly set you up. She came needful of emotional comfort with a view. Of course one thing will lead to another. And now she’s pregnant. Only now you realize you were set up. I warned you about opportunistic sex. You ought to be careful, though in your case that advice is no longer applicable. Continue reading

Dear Jil, this is what I’ve been trying to say to you, to warn you about, to get you to see. You’ve been neglecting your husband’s sexual needs. You’ve not been paying attention to him. And that happens in marriage. You do work, do your family, do church, get all caught up in those things, but then neglect your husband. And not just his sexual needs, but his tactile needs as well. Continue reading

Dear Jack, I do laud your desire to maintain the no premarital sex stance. That’s an article of your faith. Never apologize for your values. Stand for what you believe in. Moreso in an age of moral relativism.

Continue reading

My dear Jil, please help pass this on to Mary, your sister. She wrote me last me week asking for advice.  Continue reading

Dear Jack, you really have to be careful about toying with the emotions of women. That’s dangerous and volatile stuff. It’s liquefied natural gas and if it gets combusted the damage will be incalculable. It’s not stuff you joke with. I know there’s all that “sampling” philosophy out there, but people often get enmeshed in their sampling. Sampling has consequences. And when it plays out, samplers get messed up big time. Things get so messy. Be careful about your dalliances. You may end up with multiple children from multiple women. Nobody plans for that obviously, but it happens. And once children are introduced, that’s a permanent situation. It can take a lifetime to sort out the mess created and it may haunt you till you die. Continue reading

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