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Tradition and culture

Dear Jack, she isn’t the prettiest of girls but she’s kind. Something about her drew him to her. She is not in his social class either. Very few would be. His father is rich. Very rich. She recognized early on he could date other women – very beautiful women, and yet it was her he chose. He trusts her implicitly. She’s selfless. It was that selflessness that created the trust. Selflessness creates trust. There are no airs about her. She’s as basic as a piece of pancake. No, not American pancake with all its embellishments and retinue of excesses. She’s just a basic person, a good soul. She couldn’t even dress well. Her sartorial taste was terrible and passable in equal measure. She is a friend, a girlfriend and mother all rolled into one. It was to her he turned at the critical juncture of his life. He trusted her with his data and emotions. Not that she totally understands him. But she loves him and cares for him.
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My dear jack, we all make mistakes. Some mistakes are immediately apparent. But some others take nine months to manifest. Yours will take nine months. Impregnating your girlfriend while still in school is the nine month variety of mistake.
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My dear Jack, I don’t see any specific charge against this lady. Just a generic ban on her nationality. You’re the one who knows her, your family knows nothing about her. They’ve never even met her! Yet they’ve judged her as unfit for you to wife, just for belonging to another nationality. Continue reading

Dear Jack, you’re making a similar mistake as that gentleman who posted that funny text about his expectation for his wife: “6 months b4 I marry” he wrote, “I’ll tell my fiancée to go study my mum so she can be exactly like her. She’s too perfect!” In other words this young man wants to marry his mother. Continue reading

My dear Jil, the problem sometimes is that we’re so focused on our wedding objective we lose sight of the marriage. So determined are you to marry this guy you’re not thinking of the viability of the marriage. You’re focused on momentous victory, not what lies beyond the “victory”. Such “victory” can only be pyrrhic. Continue reading

My dear Jil, you’re in a difficult situation. And to be honest with you I don’t understand your father. He’s holding you vicariously liable for the alleged sins of your mother. He’s punishing your mother by punishing you, by withholding consent to your wedding. It’s a proxy battle he’s waging. He’s fighting his ex wife through you and that doesn’t make sense! They’ve been divorced for how long now… 8 years? But he’s still fighting the battle. Kinda reminds one of those Japanese holdouts in the Pacific Theatre who continued to fight after end of World War II. Either they didn’t realize the war was over, or they held on to dogmatic beliefs. Continue reading

[Dear Jack, no, your mum shouldn’t have brought spiritist water for your wife to medicate upon! Surely, you don’t expect your wife to drink such. Would you take substance from an unknown and unapproved source? Your wife has no knowledge of the origin of this “spiritual water”. Neither is she privy to its solutes or composites. Not to talk of its hygiene standard. Even its spiritual provenance requires verification. Continue reading

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