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Tag Archives: cheating

Dear Jil, I’m not exactly sure what this guy means when he said his relationship with his girlfriend is stale. How can a relationship be stale? Is it bread or what? Has the relationship gone moldy or expired? What’s he saying? Is he in a relationship but not in a relationship? It’s not very clear and you better be clear. A relationship is a relationship whether moldy or not. Whether stale or not he’s still in a relationship. Ascribing the characteristics of a fungi-infested bread to a relationship isn’t exactly helpful in this circumstance.
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My dear Jack, you’re only going to create confusion with this binary equation you’re embracing. There are going to arise serious complications dating two girls at once. And contradictions. Fidelity will be an irony. Yes, I know you don’t mean to, and that cowardice landed you in this technical default… But the fact remains you’re in a relationship with two women and you’re going to create something messy, hurt someone. Continue reading

My dear Jack, congratulations, you’re dating a goddess! And you and your family must worship her, do her bidding, or she won’t marry you. Well, that’s her attitude. She’s been cheating on you like someone trying to collect frequent flyer miles on infidelity. First there was the ex, then another guy, then another guy, and then another guy. And you keep begging her to marry you. She threatens either you marry her by a certain date, or she’s going to marry another guy. Shouldn’t that give you concern? Doesn’t that already tell you she’s two-timing you and that she treats guys as multiple choice questions? And now she’s come up with a marriage deadline, forcing you to cancel reasonable preparation for marriage and life. Yet despite blowing your plans and expending your all in order to marry her, she’s still not pleased. You can’t please her. Continue reading

Dear Jack, well, I don’t know about your girlfriend hanging out with her ex. Just seems weird. She’s in constant communication with this ex, he asks her out when he’s in town… And she expects you to understand! Seems she enjoys his company. They’re still friends she says, nothing will happen… Continue reading

My dear Jack, you’ve got to be careful not to buy into the culture of grand deceit now prevalent in relationships. By grand deceit I mean dating a girl and giving her the impression you will marry her, but planning another wedding. In one or two cases there was even a family introduction, but no plan whatsoever to marry the girl. Just deceit. Continue reading

My dear Jack, thank you for your mail. Let me give you a simple quiz – one or two questions for you to consider: If a guy constantly beats up his girlfriend, do you think wedding will change this habit and auto-reform him? If the girl in question were your sister, would you advise she goes into marriage with such an abusive boyfriend? And if she does go into marriage with this abusive guy would you be surprised he turned out to be a wife beater? Wouldn’t you say that the marital abuse was predictable and fairly certain given his antecedents? And that short of a miraculous conversion on the road to Damascus, such a man’s behavior is highly predictable? Continue reading

My dear Jil,

You can only eat your cake and have it if you’re a magician. And since you’re no magician it means you’re dedicating yourself to an impossible quest. You may actually be trying hard to fool yourself and that’s not something you should pursue. Self-deception is an act of self-delusion, and facts don’t change because we choose to delude ourselves. I really don’t understand how you can want to have a faithful and committed boyfriend if the scheme is friends with benefits. It’s a contradiction in terms isn’t it? And if you believe you can accomplish it then you must be a magician.  Continue reading

Dear Jil,

Come on! I’m sure you know better than this. Come on! This guy’s going to make you cry with his infidelity. He’s a serial womanizer with a transit harem disposition. A guy says to you, you’re my “main chick” and you’re still asking if you should stay or quit the relationship! If you’re the main chick, it means there are subsidiary chicks. Your boyfriend is a public liability company (PLC). He has many shareholders. Are you so desperate for a relationship you’ll allow a guy to appellate you with ignominiousness? Perhaps in a perverse sort of way being called a main chick makes you feel special. You’re the main the main! But that’s not the kind of special you want, not if you want a wholesome relationship. The guy is taking you for granted and you’re consoling yourself with nonsense.  Continue reading