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Tag Archives: Commitment

My dear Jack, but you’re not going to marry her mother or sister! You’re going to marry her, not her family. If she’s critically deficient in character the goodness of her family can’t save the marriage. Neither her mum nor sister is going to live with you. 

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Jil, I don’t know if it’s wise bringing your old boyfriend into your relationship. You’re only going to complicate your life. If you want to re-date your old boyfriend then make it tidy. Break up with your present boyfriend. But you can’t date your old and current boyfriends together. You’re going to create issues. And you may be inserting a dangerous trustworthiness factor into your relationship. If you end up marrying your present boyfriend, he may just not be sure about you in the future. You’ll have destroyed the security of the relationship. He’ll always be thinking anything can happen. And he’ll hedge his bet, emotions and exposure; after all you can take off after another man in future. How is he going to trust you or fully commit to you without leaving an allowance for disappointment? I’m just saying think through what you’re doing. You may be damaging the future.

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My dear Jil, I’m a bit worried and concerned about this relationship. I think you’re laying yourself open to disappointment if you accept the premises under which it’s being prosecuted. The problem sometimes is, we so want to be in love, to be in a relationship that we jump into approximations of our desires.  Continue reading

My dear Jil,

It’s great to be back. And thank you, my holiday went very well. Always good to take time off. A change of environment can bring startling perspectives.

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Dear Jil,

I hope you don’t believe this gentleman. He’s taking you for granted. He stands you up and texts you the next day that he couldn’t call because his phone had problems. Tell me, is there only one phone in the entire country? Was he marooned on a desert island? Siberia? He had no access to any phone, not even a friend’s phone or the phone of a family member? You really don’t understand men do you? Here’s what I think happened (and don’t let anyone insult your intelligence in the name of love):

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