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Tag Archives: Compromise in relationships

My dear Jil, you’re not going to have everything you want in a man, any more than you can be everything a man wants. The man who is EVERYTHING you want has to be someone you made. In which case you’re divinity. Man is the sum total of his genetic ancestry, nurture, knowledge, environment, cultural and spiritual influences. It’s hard to therefore, imagine that a man will be 100% of your requirement. You have no influence on any of those factors. By the time you arrived on the scene the man was already “formed.” Every other modification is now voluntary. And so we marry those who are largely what we want, not everything we’d desired. Or we’ll never marry. That man you want doesn’t exist and can’t exist. You’ll have to create him yourself. And you have to be afraid of creating such a man for yourself considering flaws in your judgment, character and make up. That means whatever you create must necessarily be a flawed individual. You’re flawed in your thinking.
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Dear Jack, sometimes we do highly consequential stuff without fully realizing. For example, a man can do something that greatly hurts his wife or girlfriend, yet he may not mean it that way. But if you see the agony of her soul, that should tell you how consequential your action was. It means you’ve hurt her deeply, and you must go and apologise to her, ask for her forgiveness, reassure her of your love. Continue reading

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