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Tag Archives: Emotional

My dear Jil, rape is a very traumatic experience. It is so traumatic it can terrify a marriage years down the line. Women have been known to die from rape. It’s because it’s beyond physical. It’s a violation of the sacred. Rape is so vicious it can shred the fabric of a soul, alter the balance of life energy. It kills something inside. Rape is not just one more incident in society. At the retail level it is the scarring of someone’s life. Our society ought to take rape much more seriously than we do. There’s a cultural shrugging of shoulders about rape. It’s locker room talk in boys’ circle, as if it’s some weekend discussion about Chelsea and Arsenal. Some young men in fact revel in the fact of rape. Which is really sad. Witness how some boys boast about raping a girl. Our tolerance of such banter and disposition is the cultural equivalence of conditioning boys for rape. There are boys boasting about rape in secondary school, boasting they assaulted girls during school socials. And for some boys it’s a sorority ritual. Which makes you begin to ponder the fundamentals of our society. And now we have livestreaming of rape. If only the law allows castration. Then there are those sickos who rape kids – eight-, nine-year olds. Some even babies. Surely such people are deranged. A nine-year old can’t know how to interpret rape. She’ll malfunction.
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Dear Jack, like many men you have a fear of intimacy. You want physical intimacy and nakedness but not emotional nakedness with a woman. You’re locked in. You don’t want to bare your soul to avoid vulnerability. Like many men you find that uncomfortable.

Unfortunately your girlfriend doesn’t realise it has nothing to do with her. She has no problems with intimacy. In fact she relishes being vulnerable. That’s how women create responsibility of care. She’s just committed herself to you in an absolute exercise of trust. It’s inexplicable to a man. Continue reading

Dear Jack,

I’ll advise that you don’t tilt against the windmill. There are things you can’t alter. You have to find accommodation with them. The things that make a woman, a woman you can’t change!

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