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Tag Archives: Friendship

My dear Jack, if you want to survive in this world you need to know the way of the world, how the world functions. The reason you’re disappointed with what has happened is because you failed to properly evaluate the world. The first lesson you have to learn is to properly discriminate friendship. And there are different types of friendships in this world. (We’ve discussed this before). True friendships are rare. That’s because people are fickle, and people will relate to you only as long as you’re relevant. Didn’t King Solomon tell you a friend is born for adversity? And doesn’t that tell you, you ought to have an adversity test for friendship? You need to ask yourself, if I run into trouble would this person be there for me? You need to ask yourself, if everybody turns against me would this person stand up for me?

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Dear Jack, the thing about marriage is that it’s easy to just “settle in”. It’s easy for a marriage to become something quotidian – a routine exercise of life, something we do mindlessly. Continue reading

Dear Jack, it’s not enough to love someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, you must like her as well. Liking is the basis of friendship – the loving to spend time with that someone who makes you happy. Continue reading

Dear Jack, I think we tend to confuse friendship with fraternalisation and socialisation. That you fraternise or socialise with someone doesn’t mean he’s your friend. If you don’t segregate social buddies from true friends, you have a huge disappointment coming on.

Even the Bible aggregates friendship into cadres. There are true friends it says. “Friends come and friends go but a true friend sticks by you like family.” (Proverbs 18:24 MSG). In other words if he takes off in your time of trouble – abandons you, he’s not a true friend. If he distances himself from you in your dark hour, he’s not a true friend either. A true friend is loyal. If you ever run into trouble and your “friends” are found wanting, I advice you review your sociology.

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Dear Jack,

Proximity breeds thoughts about the possibility of a relationship. If you’re very close to someone the thought will cross your mind at one point or the other. You view your relationship with your lady friend as pure because there’s no “ulterior motive”. But the woman is asking herself: If we get along this much and you feel this comfortable around me, why isn’t I The One? She’s in a “reverse friends zone”.

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