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Tag Archives: Life

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My dear Jil, I know you didn’t study law but there’s a principle in law I’d like you to note. When there’s litigation, say over an asset, the court does all it can to preserve the subject matter of the litigation. You see, if the subject matter is alienated or destroyed, there can’t be justice. It renders moot the whole purpose of litigation. That principle applies to your marriage and the subject matter that needs preservation is your life. If you lose your life to this marriage there’ll be nothing to deliberate on about the marriage. It’s effectively over. The subject matter then changes to a story – of tragedy, and funeral. We’ll be speaking in hushed tones at your funeral.
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Dear Jack, you’ve got to try and figure out your life, seek to find your place in this world. It’s not something that will come to you easily. It’s a journey. And your wife is part of that journey. She provides emotional support for you, minding your base while you venture out into the field of discovery. Continue reading

My dear Jack,

let me explain the concept of beauty to you. It’s important you grasp it to avoid a wrong judgment call on the choice of marriage partner. Continue reading

My dear Jil, let me simplify things for you. Let me concretise the basic parameters of choice for you. Seems you are not getting it. Perhaps it’s because it’s in prose form. Let’s do an exercise. This should help.  Continue reading

My dear Jil, you found yourself dating a rich older man, middle aged. You’re 30 I guess. You want to know how to relate to him successfully. Ok, here’s my advice Continue reading

My dear Jack, if you don’t want the truth don’t ask me for advice. I’ve told you money is important in marriage. A lack of money can break a marriage. And where it doesn’t it can do irreparable damage. It will reconfigure the relationship between you and your wife. It’s why I tell young men not to go into marriage without a job. You’re going to put enormous strain on the marriage. No matter how much you love each other, when there’s no money the union will be pressured. Continue reading

My dear Jil, this morning I want to tell you a story. Though allegorized, it is nonetheless a true story. The moral intone makes it a cautionary tale, especially for a girl your age and marital prospect status. Continue reading

Dear Jack, I want you to focus and determine your priorities. As a man you have to be mindful of achievement. Whether we acknowledge such or not, your determination to succeed will impact your girlfriend’s love for you. Being real! No one wants to date a loser! Or a non-achiever. You’ve got to focus on achievement.
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My dear Jil, I’m not sure you got what he’s trying to say. I think both of you are lost in translation. And things get further lost in translation as we try to narrate marital problems to third parties. The reason is simple. Every time we try to relate issues in a marriage to a third party we do so with an objective. We relay problems in marriage to third parties with a view to achieving vindication. And that objective colours the truth. Our objective makes us unobjective however we try. Why Solomon said every story sounds true until you hear the other side. It means we downplay some things and omit salient facts. Continue reading

Dear Jack, I don’t think you should be under any illusions concerning your girlfriend even though you’re in love with her. You’ve got to come to terms with the facts of your partner, the reality concerning her. That you deny facts about your partner won’t make them go away. Closing one eye and looking at life with one finger right in front of the other eye presents an eliminated slice of reality. Continue reading

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