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Tag Archives: Pain

My dear Jil, the heart is not conceptually fashioned from a viscous material. It’s rather like porcelain. It’s why it gets “broken.” That’s the impression conveyed to our understanding when we meet major disappointment. Emotions are rather powerful. When the heart is disappointed it becomes sick. Solomon alluded to this when he made this powerful statement: Hope deferred makes the heart sick. Your heart can’t afford this on again, off again relationship. You’ll do major damage to yourself. Continue reading

My dear Jil,

You must know when to pull the plug on a relationship – lest you waste your youth. If time were static, or we lived in the days of Methuselah, I’d say luxuriate with the spring of your life. But you’re not getting younger, and he seems unable to make up his mind – your boyfriend I mean. Continue reading

Dear Jil, of course you know her! Headstrong and slenderised, her features thinly fleshed, she’s no doubt lovable but that’s not very obvious. She was educated in one of the ivy league colleges; grew up in a university campus – her father was a professor. She has the gift of fierce intelligence, and a radical bit of outlook. Products of intellectual environments tend to have. She will go to the ends of the earth for those she loves. That’s one thing about her. It’s not so much faith as blind passion. She opens her eyes shut in loyalty, sometimes bumping her way into life dummies. Some will even say she’s prone to emotional suicide. Those she loves she loves.

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Dear Jil, I had intended to write you on matters of the heart but the pallium of death over my nation consternates. It’s been a very rough three weeks for the entire nation. Very traumatic. The bizarre unfurled its wings before our very eyes. Lo and behold it is a fire breathing dragon.

I woke up this morning with a rather heavy heart. I can’t define the heaviness. It’s like an indefinable weight in the lower left centre of my being. Pain has weight. Sadness has mass. When they inhabit us they exert gravitational pull on our spirit. And sometimes pain is so deep it exhibits anaesthetic qualities. Our hearts become numb, we can’t feel. The sympathetic undertaker has taken up abode in our land. It has set up enterprise and it is not lacking in patronage.

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Dear Jil,

Let me pretend this morning to understand where you’re at…that I know your pain. I pretend because no one can ever feel what you feel. No one can know the hurt. Such pain is individualised. Too many people theorise prescriptions about getting over hurt and pain. They’ve never been hurt in a relationship. I do understand how holding on to the pain can seem so natural. The pain actually keeps coming back at you, on its own.

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