My dear Jack, I’m sending you the mail I sent to Jil on your behalf. And I attached the mail I sent to you. You will see I’m blunt in my assessment, but this is your best shot:
“My dear Jil, sometimes we do stupid and we don’t know why. Men can be that way. Yet stupid has consequences. Your boyfriend did stupid. All I’m asking is that you give the young man an opportunity to redeem himself. It’s your decision what you do after, but at least give him a chance to prove his love to you.
I have remonstrated him as you can imagine. Though he didn’t tell me exactly what happened, I surmised a few things. He wrote me this moving letter, telling of his undying love for you. He does think the world of you. I will send you the letter. He’s been crying, full of regrets. He can’t live his character down. He’s not been able to forgive himself. He can’t imagine a future without you. I sent him this follow up mail. Thought you should read it:
“My dear Jack, I want you to be the best man you can be. If God gives you a wonderful woman you should value her dearly. You need that wonderful woman beside you. Life is easier when someone shares the journey with us. I say be the best man you can be. If God gives you an understanding woman, be grateful. The best way to show appreciation to Omnipotence is by treating her right.
We all need a kind and gracious partner in this journey called life – one who genuinely cares. When you meet such a woman, the woman of your dreams – when you have found her, stop looking. If you begin to search for what you already have what you’re looking for is a substitutionary fake. You’re not looking for a generic woman, are you? What you want is the woman who is just right for you. And when you meet her treasure her, love her with all you’ve got. A good woman should not be lost.
If you do lose a good woman, go and beg her; woo her back, before another comes to take your place. Make sure you’re a good man to your wife and a good father to your kids. Be the best man you can be. Life will place temptations in your way and make demands of you. But be the best man you can be. Resist temptation. We are at our best when we’re full of nobility and virtue, when we pursue groundedness. Pursue groundedness, not the fad of the moment. Fads come and go but nobility and virtue abide.
As you go on and grow in life, you will discover you have certain emotional needs only a loving woman can meet. If you meet that one woman who understands and loves you, do your best to keep her. Don’t let her walk away. If you mistreat her, you force life to give her the option of moving on. Someone who can see what you can’t see may snatch her. And you will be left alone to contemplate what might have been.
Jack, happiness is important in life, but not every woman can give you happiness. If you meet that one woman who makes you happy, whose love you can trust, work hard to keep her. If you meet that one woman who gives you so much peace, so much joy and believes in you, work hard to keep her.
To be the best man you can be, you will need discipline. Don’t go window-shopping for temptations. Discipline presupposes choice. It presupposes tempting options. Stay the course, with resolve. Remember, we are what we do, not what we say. And when you do find that one woman you can give your heart to, remember, she’s a custodian of your health and joy.
Go for substance, not just form. If you get carried away with form you may miss substance. Be the best man you can be. Be responsible. Be serious-minded, be focused, be determined.
Learn to appreciate worth and value. Pray you know when you meet a valuable woman. Be the best man you can be. Don’t make your woman unhappy, make her glad. If you do find that woman whose love nurtures your soul, keep her, cherish her. If you do meet that woman whose heart is a gift that keeps on giving, what a lucky man you are!
Life is full of difficulties. The love of that one woman is your comfort, the ameliorator of the many challenges of life. Be the best man you can be. If you have that one woman in your world, don’t go on space exploration! Try and be the best man you can be. That much you owe yourself, not just her. If you lose her, it takes so much more to woo her back. So don’t lose her. If you lose her who is your world, go and woo her back. Or there will be a hole in your heart. If you divine your future and it looks incomplete without her, by all means, woo her back.
I am talking about that woman you want, the one you can’t do without, the one you want by you, always, the best friend you have. God’s ultimate gift to you, your gift of love and life; the one who just gets you, understands you, covers your shame. Your jewel of compassion. If after a rational examination of your life you can’t imagine any other woman, don’t you dare lose her.
Our lives are defined by who we marry, who we love. They become creators of us. Love becomes you. You are who you are because of the one you love. Do not lose her. If you lose her, you lose yourself. Character is a component of love. It is what builds trust. Try to be the best man you can be. If she loves you to Mars and back, take her on a love adventure to Pluto and back. That is fair. Be the best man you can be, I say!””
Your mentor, LA
© Leke Alder | talk2me@lekealder.com