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Tag Archives: Attitude

My dear Jil,

There has to be agreeability in a relationship if it’s ever going to work. Both you and your husband must be agreeable, and achingly want your marriage to work if it’s going to work. You must desire the marriage. That desire has a magnetic quality to it. It’s a virtual marital glue. It binds souls together. There’s a difference between being in a marriage and being in a happy marriage. In a happy marriage the love is a non-negotiable. There can be differences of viewpoints on certain issues but both of you maintain agreeability. There can be disagreement without disagreeability. Continue reading

Dear Jil, relationships are conceptualised as two-way traffic. The traffic can’t keep flowing in one direction. If you want to experience abundance of joy in your relationship, learn to give. It’s not the duty of one party to give. It’s the duty of both.

You can’t be stingy to your boyfriend. And you don’t justify stinginess with the logic, “After all, he’s the man!” That’s sexist selfishness. If you’re a stingy or grudging giver it will affect your relationship. It will become contrived. Even God in a typical display of anthropopathism loves a cheerful giver. If you don’t give, at some point the other party will start feeling cheated. Your partner may continue to give, but the joy that comes from reciprocity of affection is hoovered out of the relationship.

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Dear Jack, I want you to take a sheet of paper and draw three circles. In the first circle write “Vocation”. In the second write “Relationship”. In the third write “God”. Those are the three circles you need to mind if you want all round success. Continue reading

Dear Jack,

I came across a shocking incident yesterday, the full narration of which will overwhelm this medium. Essentially though, a young man almost destroyed the electric power generator of his employer. You know what that means in Nigeria!

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