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Tag Archives: Choices

My dear Jil, seems you want to eat your cake and have it. Keeping two lives on hold allows you to have it both ways while claiming you’re trying to choose. Flip the coin the other way and see how it works. What if a guy while dating you decides he now wants to decide between you and his ex, but the ex was not in the picture when you started your relationship. How will that feel? But that’s exactly what you’re trying to do to your boyfriend. Continue reading

My dear Jack, I don’t get it. You mean you’ve dated your girlfriend for four years and your friends are still insisting you’re rushing into marriage! You’re lucky a more focused candidate or credible alternative hasn’t shown up. You’d have lost her. She’s either a very patient person, or she loves you very dearly or both. Either way, you’re a lucky man.

So how long do you want to date her before you marry her? Or is this a case of perpetual dating, you know, being in a state of date. What exactly do you need to find out about her that you’ve not found out in four years of dating? That question may imply you’re thick, unobservant, negligent or lacking in the capacity for insight. If you don’t know your girlfriend after four years of dating, I’m really not sure you’ll ever know her. You mustn’t be paying much attention or she’s a very good actress. Some people are very talented no doubt but it’s hard to keep a ruse up for four years with utmost constancy. That requires inspired capacity.

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My dear Jack, it’s a very rare family that will allow you to date two sisters successively. You were interested in the older sister but you went for the younger once the older one travelled out of the country. Which should make you question what you really want? Was it her you wanted or just a woman? Any woman seemed to fit your bill, including her younger sister. If you didn’t have an awful relationship with that younger sister this discussion will be moot. You won’t be mailing me. It’s because that relationship broke up you renewed your interest in the elder sister.

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“There she was standing by the roadside in the morning. The air was fresh. It was just a few minutes after nine. She stood there wistful in proportions, her face ever so subtly animated. The shadows of her thoughts passed over her face like the passing of the clouds above. Or like the shadow of a plane descending over a terrain, the shadow trailing it like a disembodied entity bound to the locus. It glides surreally.

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My dear Jil, it would seem you and your boyfriend are coming from two opposing finance philosophies. You have two different finance personalities and perspectives. You’re prudent and believe in financial planning. He’s not. You’re conservative concerning finance. He has a laissez-faire attitude towards finance, believes things will somehow take care of themselves. He projects on future earnings. Which means he gets into a credit situation today hoping to plug the hole with future earnings. And so he spends his salary to the limit, banking on payday. And if there’s any problem with payday, he borrows money using his paycheck as collateral. In other words, you live within your means, he lives beyond his means, literally. That’s the simple deduction.

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My dear Jack, seems a tough one but let’s walk through the issues. The first thing you should be thankful about is that you have an honest girlfriend. She could have hidden the fact. You wouldn’t have known if she hadn’t told you, and that goes to her character. She has conscience at least. And she doesn’t want to marry you under false pretences hence the disclosure. If she’s the type that just wants to marry, she’ll never tell you. You’ll find out after one random blood test. Continue reading

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