Tag Archives: Forgiveness

My dear Jack, I was very worried about what your girlfriend told me you said. You said you’ll never forgive her. All because she reported you to a third party. And to think she did so because she wanted to get you help. You were in a dire situation. There’s the morality of that: how do you punish someone trying to help you? You were in trouble. She didn’t know what to do having exhausted herself. I thought it’s such people you would stick to. She’s your true friend. A true friend is born for adversity. Fake friends run away in adversity. Yes, she made a mistake in form but the substance remains germane. She meant well for you.

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My dear Jack, if you knew you had just one day to live what would you do? Yes, I know young people don’t think about mortality. There’s the assumption of eternal life, like life is stretched out before you like a red carpet. Yet one has to live circumspectly and use his time wisely. Continue reading →

My dear Jil, it’s important you distinguish between love and sentimental expression of love. The two are not the same and if you don’t distinguish them you may break your marriage. A man may deeply and sincerely love you but may be poor at sentimental expression. That he is lacking in the sentimental department doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you, he just needs to work on that. Of course, your feelings are legitimate, a man ought to express his love and appreciation to his wife. But you can’t say a man who works so hard to take care of you doesn’t love you. That will be unfair.
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My dear Jack, in homicide, detectives are always looking for motive from three factors: money, sex and revenge. I was thinking about that and it occurred to me that these are the very same factors that destroy marriages. You of course know the role of money in a marriage. We’ve discussed this before. A marriage comes under intense strain when there’s no money. Continue reading →

My dear Jil, I feel I need to write you once more about that “f” word – forgiveness. Forgiveness is a hard thing no doubt, and yet it’s the easiest of things. Forgiveness is only hard when we regurgitate and re-experience the pain and the trauma visited on us. Memory loss, and the willingness to have memory loss are critical to forgiveness. There are experiences that should not be relived. Every time you recall a painful experience it’s like peeling the scab on a wound. Continue reading →

My dear Jil, let’s keep the momentum on #BringBackOurGirls going. It is a civic duty. My profile pix is blacked out in honour of the dead, honour to the dying, honour to the missing #ChibokGirls

As per the issue you raised- Yes, I ask you to forgive. And I do know forgiveness can seem difficult. In fact unforgiveness is the norm and much more easier, especially when you’ve been badly wronged. How do you forgive a trusted girlfriend who snatches away your boyfriend you ask? Such can destroy so many things in a person, destroy self esteem- make you doubt yourself.

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Dear Jack,

I am not ordinarily interested in wild nature or safari but for some reason I tuned to Animal Planet on Saturday. And my wife and I became riveted by the narrative of the rehabilitation of a chimpanzee named Charley into the wild. Charley had the scars of life all over his face. His face was marred and sad. He had been rescued from man’s cruelty. I actually thought he was a baboon until my wife corrected me. They all look the same to me! Baboons are different from chimpanzees apparently. And not just because they have red butts. (Baboon is derived from Middle French “baboue”. It means grimace. This probably explains my attitude! :))

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