Dear Jack, can you deliver this letter to Jil?
My dear Jack, I present a few lessons from my letters to you in 2017. I hope you take them to heart as you enter the new year. Here they are: Continue reading
My dear Jil, you could have solved this whole thing with just three words – “I am sorry!” If you had said those words right after you discovered he was upset, and really meant it, you wouldn’t be at this impasse. And we can say “I’m sorry” and not mean it, you know, say it as something that’s meant to be said, just so we say we placated our partner. But it comes across very wrongly. Continue reading
My dear Jack, it’s about being concerned for each other, being committed to each other’s welfare and progress. Every marriage has a potential history embedded. And things will play out over the years. There’s the very fact of the marriage itself but then there are all sorts of things that will go on in individual lives. For instance, she has her work and you have yours. Different things happen at work. If you love her you’ll support her to succeed at what she does, just as she owes you support too.
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My dear Jack, someone, I forgot who, sent this to me over the weekend and I thought to share it with you. I really don’t know who the writer is; for all you know it might have been inventive. But this was the way girls were toasted in those days. Your generation obviously doesn’t know how to toast babes. Continue reading
My dear Jil, I’ll try and explain it to you, this friendship stuff. But we’ll need to do some visualisation. It’s my way of “seeing” things. Imagine a long span bridge. Rather long. At one end you have “Sex” signage, and then just few meters after, you have “Romance.” Then imagine that at the very other end you have “Obligations,” and further after, you have “Disagreement.” And so at one extreme, you have “Sex” and “Romance,” and at the other end you have “Obligations” and “Disagreement.” Continue reading
My dear Jil, remember that couple we spoke about, the man and woman with beatific marriage? Well, when I asked him why he loved her so much his answers proved telling. There’s an ease about her, he says. Things are so easy. There’s a fit between them. It’s kind of hard to explain. It’s why he says relationships must not be enforced or forced. Continue reading
My dear Jil, this has to be one of the most painful letters I ever wrote; it’s a letter I wish I didn’t have to write. But first, thank you for calling me the other day. Was refreshing hearing from you. I had actually put out word for you since I didn’t have your contact details. I’d asked your friends. Was told you were abroad. You can imagine my pleasant surprise hearing your voice on Thursday. It’s been a long time since we spoke.
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My dear Jil, of course you’ve heard of the phrase, “Ceteris paribus.” It’s a Latin phrase meaning “other things being equal.” Another translation of “ceteris paribus” is “all other things being constant,” or “all else unchanged.” It’s a deploy of economists in determining causation and isolating variables. It’s almost like freezing time. But it’s not really real because in life other things are never equal. In life all else don’t remain unchanged, all other things are not constant, every action provokes a reaction; a change occurs.
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