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Tag Archives: How men think

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My dear Jack, it’s about possibility thinking. You’ve got to believe in possibilities. If you want to be an achiever you must believe in possibilities.

Possibilities are first and foremost inside of you. You meet them on the inside before you see them on the outside. Possibility is your heart pressing against your insides, pushing against the strains, challenging militating circumstances you encounter on the inside, refusing to accept status quo. Possibility is your heart seeking to work out different routes to your future, wondering how to deal with obstacles. It’s your heart breaking down a major challenge into pieces of achievable chunks, all with a view to overcome the challenge identified. You can’t attain unless you believe in possibilities.

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My dear Jil, you shouldn’t get careless with your marriage. There are people who want what you have.

First, you have to be careful about not being available to your husband. That’s not really wise. He has needs – physical and emotional, and you’re the only legitimate fulfilment agency. As an entrepreneur, he particularly needs your moral and emotional support. He needs you for this journey called life. He needs your partnership. It’s important he feels he has you by his side, that he can count on you and your advice. He needs your consultations too.

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My dear Jil, he’s a chipmunk! That’s what he is! You know about chipmunks? They have an interesting quality. They have three-day memories. They can’t remember much beyond three days. So when they store food and don’t retrieve it before three days, they begin to scurry about searching for where they kept the food, desperately.

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My dear Jil, you could have solved this whole thing with just three words – “I am sorry!” If you had said those words right after you discovered he was upset, and really meant it, you wouldn’t be at this impasse. And we can say “I’m sorry” and not mean it, you know, say it as something that’s meant to be said, just so we say we placated our partner. But it comes across very wrongly. Continue reading

My dear Jack, well, if she earns higher than you what can you do? It’s what it is. I mean, you can’t tell her employer to reduce her pay because she earns higher than you! “Increase my salary because my girlfriend earns higher than I” is obviously not tenable in the corporate sector. Someone is bound to ask, why don’t you date someone earning lower than you if it’s a real concern?
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My dear Jil, I just don’t get it. I hear it often but I didn’t know you subscribe to the notion too. You mean a guy asks you out on a date and you invite your girlfriend along? I don’t understand that. Now, I do understand a mini girls’ outing to which a guy is invited; but that’s clear to all the parties. In this instance however, the guy had no idea you were bringing along your friend. He came to pick you and found two women ready!
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My dear Jil, the problem is you keep dating the wrong guys, it’s not that you have a string of bad luck with guys. You keep dating guys that are neither right for you nor care about you, guys who just want to exploit you. Funny thing is you know from onset these guys aren’t right for you but you plunge on all the same, just because you feel you must have a man.
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My dear Jil, you’ve got to get rid of all those munched conversations on your phone. Love does not keep record of wrongs. In your case, you’re not only keeping record of wrongs, but evidence to be used in future prosecution of your boyfriend. And so when he says something in the future, you’ll go into that file drawer, pull out what he had said, annotated with date and time. Continue reading

My dear Jil, I wish you had listened to me. You wouldn’t have had this problem. When someone offers you sincere advice with no ulterior motive and nothing to gain, you ought to pay attention to such. I told you not to give this guy money. But you went ahead and gave him doles of your money. And now… The whole thing was corny. The love was fake. Continue reading

Dear Jil, surely you can see these plans are asinine. I mean, how does it make it sense?! You’re dating a guy who lives abroad and hardly comes to town – may be once a year. So you don’t see him much. You face the typical challenge of long distance relationship. However much you do Facetime it’s never like being together. But instead of talking marriage, this man is talking about making you a baby mama. Why would you want to be baby mama instead of wife? And according to him you’ll have to stay here for two years after you’ve had the baby. You can’t travel to stay with him immediately. This allegedly is to ensure you don’t do menial job when you travel to meet him in UK! I’m lost and confused over this logic. So you stay two years apart so you don’t do menial job in the UK. Don’t get it, what’s the link?
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