Tag Archives: Insecurities

My dear Jil, I think the seeming complications in this relationship are being driven by your insecurities. It seems the things you’re worried about are nothing to this man. He doesn’t care. For instance you’re worried about whether you’re fine enough for him. (He had a beautiful girlfriend). But he wants you. Which means you’re beautiful enough for him. You’re also allowing his profile and achievements intimidate you. That’s a bit understandable. And yet he wants you. You really don’t know why he wants you do you? He doesn’t want you because of your beauty, he wants you because there’s “something” about you that resonates inside him. There’s something. You said it yourself: you just click! You just seem to get along. You can talk freely with him, you’re free with him, you can be yourself… And you feel safe around him. When you met the chemistry was instant. Continue reading →

Dear Jack, this thing about full access to each other’s phone, it’s not really about trust; it’s about lack of trust. More like a Russia/US nuclear deal on quantity of arsenal, each side providing full disclosure. But the US/Russia nuclear deal is based on distrust not trust. It’s a balance of terror deal. That you and your girlfriend even have a formal deal on trust already portends lack of trust Continue reading →

Dear Jil,

Judging by all you’ve said, you’ve got a wonderful gentleman. Seems trustworthy to me. But you don’t trust him. There’s a trust “gap” you’ve created… your 10% safety margin. He can’t bridge the gap. There’s virtual resistance. There’s a reservation inside of you – an illogical reservation… a just-in-case! A teeny weeny just-in-case! You find yourself holding back from him, not totally trusting him. Yet there’s no basis for it. Continue reading →