Tag Archives: misunderstanding

My dear Jack, you have to be careful about escalation. Escalation is always potent in marriage. The thing about escalation is, what started out as something trite that can be swiped like a fly might end up growing into a movie monster. And it starts with hardening of positions, often preceded by silences and disregard. Instead of discussing the issue both of you withdrew into silence, each not talking to the other. Be fearful of escalation of small quarrels in your marriage my friend. Be fearful of escalation.
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My dear Jil, I’m not sure you got what he’s trying to say. I think both of you are lost in translation. And things get further lost in translation as we try to narrate marital problems to third parties. The reason is simple. Every time we try to relate issues in a marriage to a third party we do so with an objective. We relay problems in marriage to third parties with a view to achieving vindication. And that objective colours the truth. Our objective makes us unobjective however we try. Why Solomon said every story sounds true until you hear the other side. It means we downplay some things and omit salient facts. Continue reading →