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Tag Archives: one-sided relationship

My dear Jil, you need to be careful about mounting pressure on a guy to marry you. Once a guy starts saying, “You’re too good for me”… “I am unworthy of your love”… “I believe you’ll be happier without me”… It’s a civil way of saying I want to break with you. Sometimes it’s, “I am going through a lot right now”… Or “Things are quite difficult for me right now and I don’t want you to suffer with me”… These are not good signs. They’re polite rejections. If you persist the guy will cut off, not reply your texts, or calls, or mails. What he’s saying is, “Didn’t you get the message?”

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My dear Jil, of course you’ve heard of the phrase, “Ceteris paribus.” It’s a Latin phrase meaning “other things being equal.” Another translation of “ceteris paribus” is “all other things being constant,” or “all else unchanged.” It’s a deploy of economists in determining causation and isolating variables. It’s almost like freezing time. But it’s not really real because in life other things are never equal. In life all else don’t remain unchanged, all other things are not constant, every action provokes a reaction; a change occurs.
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My dear Jil, it’s really very simple when you think of it. What you want in a relationship you must be prepared to give. If you want devotion, give devotion. If you want affection, give affection. If you want care, give care. What you want, give! Seems so simple, doesn’t it? These are simple rules of relationship and happiness. If you check out fantastic marriages, you’ll see these rules being applied. And they don’t seem like work because love is present. Continue reading

My dear Jil, I wish you had listened to me. You wouldn’t have had this problem. When someone offers you sincere advice with no ulterior motive and nothing to gain, you ought to pay attention to such. I told you not to give this guy money. But you went ahead and gave him doles of your money. And now… The whole thing was corny. The love was fake. Continue reading

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