Tag Archives: Peace

My dear Jil, you have to be mindful of the philosophy you subscribe to for your marriage. There are all sorts of crazy stuff out there. Some advice are whimsical delusions of the demonic variety. You don’t whimsically start trouble in your home for no reason. And then you send a fleshly visual as compensation to your man after disturbing his peace. What kind of unfortunate advice is that?! It’s radioactive. The advice betrays a lack of understanding about the makeup of men. It’s a misbegotten permutation of affection – crass manipulativeness disguised as love game. It belongs to movies. It’s the S&M variant of affection. You follow that advice you’re going to wreck your marriage. You should at least examine the soundness of a marital advice before executing it. Continue reading →

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Dear Jack, no, he shouldn’t have told you that. It’s because he doesn’t understand what you’re dealing with. You’re suffering from depression. Depression is a disease of the soul – no different from any other disease really, so nothing to be ashamed of. But it’s more vicious than many physical ailments.

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My dear Jil, you won’t understand and can’t understand: fathers are particularly protective of their daughters. That’s the problem you have with your father. It’s why he’s giving you all those troubles over marriage.

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My dear Jack, Valentine is coming up. You spoke about taking her to dinner. Is that still on? It’s the opportunity you have to re-sit that exam she conducted when she asked what made you convinced she was the one. Like I told you, in my mail she’s not looking for a narration of the sequence of your conviction. She just wanted you to give her words of assurance. It was a security question.

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My dear Jil, we underestimate the importance of happiness in marriage. You shouldn’t go into a marriage in which you’re not going to be happy. It’s horrendous. You will be frustrated beyond measure, unable to communicate what’s really eating you up.
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“My dear Jil, it’s our wedding anniversary. As usual I have decided to pen a missive to you. It’s a diarisation of my appreciation, a documentation of the state of my heart, a gesture of gratitude.
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My dear Jack, every relationship has an equilibrium base. It’s a place of tranquillity, a place of rest. At that equilibrium there’s peace in a relationship, there’s harmony, there’s joy.
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My dear Jil, you’ve got to get rid of all those munched conversations on your phone. Love does not keep record of wrongs. In your case, you’re not only keeping record of wrongs, but evidence to be used in future prosecution of your boyfriend. And so when he says something in the future, you’ll go into that file drawer, pull out what he had said, annotated with date and time. Continue reading →

Dear Jack, inter-tribal marriage shouldn’t be an issue. There are many thriving and successful inter-tribal marriages. You can’t focus on someone’s tribal identity and totally ignore the person’s qualities. She has no control over her tribal identity. And you can’t hold someone responsible for what someone from her tribe did to your uncle thirty years ago. Continue reading →