Tag Archives: Relationship

Jil, the challenge you have is that you’re sending out the wrong vibes. You’re giving the impression you don’t want a relationship when in fact you want one. You’re dismissive in attitude, portray a picture of self sufficiency and therefore have no need of a guy. Guys are reading those cues and staying away. What do you expect? It would be foolhardy of any guy to approach you given the vibes you’re sending out. You’re making it clear you don’t want a relationship. No guy wants to embark on a fool’s errand. Continue reading →

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My dear Jack, you’re going to put yourself on an emotional rollercoaster trying to keep this lady. Your heart can’t afford it. First, your relationship is in a state of plausible deniability. She never said yes to your boyfriend proposal. She just allowed things to carry on. There’s no definitiveness about the relationship. Perhaps you should have asked her a simple question: Are we boyfriend and girlfriend now? Sometimes it’s wise to ask such questions, especially if a relationship seems borderline. Not sure she really wants to date you. Seems she just used you as a gap filler. She didn’t want to be alone. She sucked emotional nutrient from you but she had no plan to commit to you. Continue reading →

My dear Jil, if a man won’t respect you, what are you doing in the relationship? This guy has no respect for you. He’s treating you like dirt, like he’s doing you a favour. You have a “take it or leave it” relationship, like he’s got so many options lined up and you’re just lucky to have him. How can someone you claim is your boyfriend treat you like a disposable? What kind of relationship is that? And you’re only confirming his opinion of you with your attitude to the relationship. You seem resigned. You’ve put yourself in a blackmail position. It’s why this guy has no sensitivity for your feelings. He sleeps with you, treats you like trash, talks anyhow to you, is insolent, crude, and you think you have a relationship. This guy has no regard for you. Continue reading →

My dear Jil, it’s a brand new year, and the year is so full of promise. Sorry I couldn’t answer your mail over the hols. I was away. Trying to catch up on my mails. There’s a ton in my box. Continue reading →

My dear Jil, there are relationships that can’t be however you try. Everything will seem so perfect, seem so right and yet for some reason the relationship just can’t be. It’s something like the way magnets repel each other. You push and push but they surreally just can’t come together. Continue reading →

It’s amazing, but what usually defines a relationship is just one event, only one. There’s an ultimacy to such events, an invisible ultimacy. Life is full of such ultimatenesses. Men are different from women in decision-making. Men rationalize their decision, seek justification for choice AFTER the event. Whereas for women, justification is BEFORE the event. Everything is settled based on that. Continue reading →

My dear Jil, let me simplify things for you. Let me concretise the basic parameters of choice for you. Seems you are not getting it. Perhaps it’s because it’s in prose form. Let’s do an exercise. This should help.  Continue reading →

My dear Jack,

This virginity thing. It seems a big issue for you. And it’s generating awkward contradictions in you. It’s the hidden reason you’re struggling with your emotions. You’re conflicted inside because you know you have no standing. Continue reading →

My dear Jil,

I think you’ve got a wonderful boyfriend in this guy. He’s a serious young man and I can see he loves you dearly. And he cherishes you. My fear is you, not him. I fear your insecurities will at some point create unhappiness in the relationship. Continue reading →