Dear Jil, in my last mail I forgot to tell you about their marriage. I mean the marriage of the couple I spoke to you about. Their home is relentlessly filled with happiness. There’s a lightness and airiness to that home. It’s as a home should be.
Dear Jack, the thing about marriage is that it’s easy to just “settle in”. It’s easy for a marriage to become something quotidian – a routine exercise of life, something we do mindlessly. Continue reading
My dear Jil, this is the story I was writing:
“He fumbled the key on the lock, prised it open and stepped into the house. As soon as he stepped in he could feel the atmospheric difference. The house felt cool. He interrogated the coolness. The difference was marked. His head told him the house felt cool because he was stepping in from the glare of a sun about to go home. The problem was, there was light in the sitting room. The sun managed to filter through the slits of the venetian blinds. So it wasn’t the absence of harsh sunlight that accounted for the shade in the house. Something else seemed responsible. Continue reading
The letter floated ashore, preserved in a plastic case – debris from the ill-fated plane crash on the Adriatic Ocean. It was a love letter from a man to his wife. She apparently carried it with her on her journey, among other mementos. There were 80th anniversary birthday cards in that plastic box. Some had children scrawls. “Happi BathDaY GrAMa,” one read cheerfully. “When are yOu bakin My choclat caKe?” The Adriatic being the northernmost arm of the Mediterranean Sea, the plastic case had floated ashore by that route Continue reading
My dear Jack, it is important you have romance in your marriage; otherwise it will taste like dry bread. It’s bread alright, and will satisfy certain nutritional requirements; but it will be lacking in aesthetic flavour. And that aesthetic flavour is what makes marriage enjoyable and amiable. Without romance marriage becomes functional, even utilitarian. Continue reading
My dear Jil,
You said there’s this colleague of yours who seems very much interested in you in the office. You’re wondering whether to get involved with him since you both work in the same office. Well let’s first clarify the office issue. Be sure your corporate policy allows for office romance. Especially since he is superordinate to you. He’s your senior in the office. That in itself can lay him open to charges of sexual harassment. But I don’t envisage you going after him with that, though emotions can be vicious when there are disappointments. Continue reading
Relationship requires maturity. It’s why marriage is for men and not boys. Without maturity there will be emotional brickbats in a relationship. Such a relationship will trace the virtual paths of a yoyo. Up today, down tomorrow. Moods, temperament, anger, malice… these are pointers to the issue of emotional maturity in your relationship. And so because of a disagreement she withdraws to a corner and you become annoyed with the fact that she did. And so you withdraw in anger too. And soon it escalates as molehills are geologically blown out of proportion. Until everyone forgets the real issues. Now it’s all about pride and who’ll blink first. Such immaturity! Continue reading
My dear Jack, what kind of partner should you desire in marriage? What type of marriage? I’d say pray for someone who wants you, who’ll be so identified with you she’s you. Two people, one life. Continue reading