My dear Jil, it’s coronavirus lockdown blues. He’s feeling horny. His proposal is only valid for the coronavirus lockdown period. He’s just looking for someone to shack up with during the lockdown. He’s looking for corona sex. Continue reading
My dear Jil, I quite understand where you are… I do understand. If it’s not real, it’s not really temptation. You don’t tempt an alcoholic with water for example. If it’s not alcohol it can’t be temptation to him. Same thing goes for you. If hunger for affection isn’t your vulnerability this won’t be temptation to you. Our temptations define our vulnerabilities. What we’re tempted with is where we’re vulnerable. Your desire for this married man shows your vulnerability. Also gives you some knowledge about yourself – your capacities. A few years ago you’d have thought this was unthinkable. And so you have intelligence about yourself – shows you what you need to be careful about. Your emotions are your weak spot.
Dear Jack, I think you’re conflicting sex for love. You don’t really know the love of a woman, just sex. You’re at that age testosterone is raging like a bull and primal desires are seeking to overrun your life. The love of a woman is much more than sex Jack. You don’t get it. To the woman who truly loves you sex is a sacrificial offering, an oblation – the religious giving of self. Continue reading
My dear Jack, you’re letting your hormones decide for you, and you’re going to make a mistake. Of course sexual attraction matters in a relationship. But it’s not the all and be all. There are other things to consider. Character matters. And so does temperament. And cultural values – things like taste, exposure, knowledge… The key is to have a balance. That balance is an aggregation of critical factors like character as well as custom factors. “I like a woman who sings and looks like Adele” is a custom factor for example. It’s a peculiar desire. Continue reading
My dear Jack, you lost the right to say those things many months ago. And you should know better. I’ve repeatedly told you to learn to take responsibility in life. You can’t impregnate a lady and begin to say those things I hear you speak. For example, it’s rather too late to say she’s not the type of woman you want carrying your child. She may well not be, but she’s already carrying your child. The argument is moot. You open yourself to charges of opportunism if you insist on that line of argument. Means your pursuit of crass opportunism became a fish bone lodged in your throat. As many will rightly ask, if you knew all that why did you sleep with her…why did you stray from your specs? Continue reading
Dear Jack, come on! How could you have fallen for this ruse? Clearly this woman targeted you and you fell for it. Any woman could have warned you. Women see these things afar off! And women say men never see these things, that men underestimate devious intentions of the feminine variety. Women can smell a groom raider miles off, which is why they implement strategic defensive maneuvers. This woman clearly set you up. She came needful of emotional comfort with a view. Of course one thing will lead to another. And now she’s pregnant. Only now you realize you were set up. I warned you about opportunistic sex. You ought to be careful, though in your case that advice is no longer applicable. Continue reading
My dear Mary, faith is not unthinking. And spirituality should not rob us of intelligence and commonsense. Paul says, “God wants us to use our intelligence, to seek to understand as well as we can.” (1 Corinthians 12:1-3 MSG). You can’t marry a man you’re not attracted to and can’t stand. You don’t even want to be around him! Yet the gentleman keeps telling you it’s God’s will for you to marry him. Continue reading
My dear Mary, you’ll break your marriage eventually if you keep pursuing the current sexual policy in your marriage. Of course that’s not what you want but if your marriage breaks, your intention is a moot issue. A lack of intendment is irrelevant if we start playing with fire and end up arsonous. Continue reading
*Warning! Graphic content.
My dear Jack, if you want to put out a fire you cut off the oxygen supply. When you cut off the oxygen supply you weaken the fire. Then you can go after the residual rage of the fire. If it’s imprudent not cutting off the oxygen supply to stop a fire, imagine feeding the flame with accelerant to kill it. If you want to stop your addiction to masturbation, cut off the accelerant and oxygen to the flame in your groin – porn! You can’t be gourmandizing on porn and claim to want to stop addiction to masturbation. A fire fed accelerant won’t die. Continue reading