Can I Get an Encore?
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My dear Jack, I present 60 lessons from my letters to you in 2015. I hope you take them to heart as you enter the new year. Here they are:
- It’s not the beauty of a wife that keeps a man from straying. It is self-discipline.
- You need discipline before marriage, and you need discipline after marriage.
- Pray for a woman who cares about you, who sees your success as her success and her success as yours.
- Pray for someone who wants you, who’ll be so identified with you she’s you. Two people, one life.
- Love is a friendship of the heart.
- In a marriage love matters. Affection maters. Attraction matters. Physical attributes matter. So does character.
- If you don’t love her don’t marry her. If you’re not attracted to her leave her alone.
- If you can’t afford a home of your own it just means you’re not ready for marriage. Get your own home.
- A man without a mind of his own is not a man.
- Learn to take responsibility for the natural consequences of your action. Be a man!
- Stubbornness reads humility as humiliation.
- Learn to sleep over things. Don’t be hasty of action if the answer is not clear to you.
- She’s lonely and you’re lonely, hence relationship. There’s a danger to such matches.
- Sex is a very powerful impulse, a very strong drive. Don’t let it drive you, it’s a bad driver.
- The greatest danger about addiction to porn and masturbation is that it alienates intimacy.
- If you want to stop your addiction to masturbation, cut off the accelerant and oxygen to the flame in your groin – porn!
- Pay attention to your wife so she doesn’t feel you don’t really care about her.
- You can’t approach marriage like you already know. It’s not accommodating and it’s arrogant.
- Listen. Acknowledge. Adopt. Adapt. Make time. Make room. Make friends. Seven matrimonial virtues.
- Put more resources into your marriage than your wedding.
- Don’t marry what you can’t afford.
- Nothing is as depressive as being locked up for eternity in a marriage with someone you don’t like.
- If you want a truly loving and affectionate relationship, you and your partner must be sincere with each other. Sincerity is nakedness.
- It is important your wife has a sense of security in your marriage. It’s why you need to keep affirming her, assuring her of your love.
- Love needs to be expressed. You express love to build faith. Faith comes by hearing what is told.
- If you do lose a good woman, go and beg her; woo her back, before another comes to take your place.
- Romance is we. Romance is us. Romance is never me.
- Balance things in your home. Pay attention to your wife and kids, or your home may not survive your ambition.
- It’s important to have an honest relationship with your child. Sometimes that’s all children want.
- Don’t allow your mum’s pursuit of the status of grandma turn your marriage into collateral damage.
- For a marriage to break from external pressure there must be fissure within.
- Loving takes effort. Loving is responsibility. Just try. That’s all it takes. Try.
- Whatever you want in marriage you must be ready and willing to give.
- When you want to choose a marriage partner, think of the future not just now. And certainly not just sex.
- A bad marriage starts with a wrong choice of partner. And such partners are not necessarily bad people. They may just be bad for each other.
- When our friends are in marital trouble what they need from us is not sermonizing. Just compassion. They’re in pain!
- When values are shared, a marriage has a greater chance of success.
- A friend is born for adversity. You know your friends when you’re in trouble.
- If character can make someone beautiful, a deficiency of it can make someone patently ugly. Character is beauty.
- A lonely man is vulnerable. A successful young man is a target. Don’t let the physical blind you to the obvious.
- You’ve got to have a primary project every year – something momentous you’re pursuing for the year.
- You have to become successful before you become successful. That’s the lesson from Joseph. Joseph was successful as a slave.
- Tolerating in courtship what you can’t accommodate in marriage is a creative process for pain and anger.
- These four things are important in marriage: love, peace, happiness, friendship.
- If you proceed into a relationship knowing it will bring you sorrow, why, you’ve decided to crack coconut with your skull.
- Manhood is not emotionlessness. It is not a lack of empathy. A man lacking in empathy is psychopathic.
- If you’re going to have a shot at marital joy you’ll have to forbear, and learn to forbear, and choose to forbear.
- When there’s no money a marriage soon wakes from fairy tales of love. Love and responsibility are co-travellers.
- Solomon said time and chance happen to all. That means your opportunity will come. But will you be ready?
- It’s not where you start that matters. It’s your determination to keep going, to keep pushing, on the inside of you.
- Whether we acknowledge such or not, your determination to succeed will impact your girlfriend’s love for you. Being real!
- Don’t hate what you desire. Stop hating the successful. Not every successful person is crooked.
- As per your wife, if you want to be the man who “hit it first”, tell me, the women you hit first who’ll marry those?
- The woman you need is the one who believes in your future, believes in the potential of your greatness in life.
- Forget all that stuff about opposites attracting. Are you a magnet?
- If you can’t trust someone don’t marry the someone.
- Men change as they make money, as they rise in life. Without groundedness, success can wreck a home.
- Never cross the line of violence in your marriage. Or in anything for that matter.
- Every line you cross in life becomes temptation to you.
- Responsibility defines a man, not virility.
Your mentor, LA
© Leke Alder | email@example.com
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