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Read Letter

Buying Her A Gift

Dear Jack,

It’s your girlfriend’s birthday in a week and you want advice from me on how to make it very special for her. You’ve come to the right source!

Well, first you need to know that birthdays are very important to women, especially women your girlfriend’s age. And please get it out of your head that it’s the thought that counts. A broke man wrote that! I’ll rather modify that to read it’s the well thought out gift that counts. I advise you get her a lovely present. And make sure you pay attention to the wrapping. It’s important. Good wrapping paper, ribbons and colour scheme. The unwrapping of a present is an event to a woman! Attention to packaging shows that you care. And you must go get the present yourself. If over the net, choose it yourself. You don’t ever want her to know you didn’t. You can take an adviser along for the shopping but make sure you decide on the present.

Don’t buy her utilitarian gifts, like a cooker you hope to use when you marry. Not for her birthday! In general you can’t go wrong with fashion and accessories. With a few exceptions, women love fashion. I’m assuming of course that you have her vital statistics – dress size, height, waistline, cup size, shoe size… If you don’t I advise you quickly enlist the help of her friend, colleague or sister.

It’s also important that you choose something that suits her temperament and matches her palette and skin tone. Her cultural temperament also matters. Is she Afrocentric, Asian, American or European in orientation? If European, she’ll be muted in colour tendencies, the cut classic and intelligent. If African the colours will be bold, the style flamboyant, the tone assertive. American is somewhere between European and African; while Asian is to the left of European – chic and spare.

Now it’s important you understand her figure. You don’t want to spend money on something she’ll wish otherwise. Whatever you buy must be flattering. Is she on the big size? Is she petite? Is her upper body ample? Is it the reverse? Is she African physiognomically, you know? Is she figure-eightish? Is she skinny? Does she have long legs? (If she has long legs you may want to complement those legs). Do her legs have concave orientation at the knee hinge? (Determines length of dress); or is it a convex profile? What is the length of her legs relative to her torso? Which is longer? You must be studious about these things!

If she’s big you don’t want to buy clothes with fat horizontal stripes. She’ll seem larger. If her tummy is big consider an “A” Line dress that flares out above the stomach. Don’t know what an “A” Line is? Ask a woman!

As for shoes high heels generally work. Does something to cadence. But there’s a difference between 3″ and 5″. And there’s 6″! It all depends on personality. And find out the latest fashion trend please. Colour blocking is the rage now.

Because your girlfriend has her unique interest(s) it’s wise to layer that interest as a smaller second present. A book, perfume, latest lipstick… It all depends on her interest; and your earning power. Your main present may be the latest phone, iPad or Kindle. *Wink* Somehow the latest in mobile technology matters to many women!

Now this is the reasoning: the main gift must be something she can show off with. She wants her friends and colleagues to know you bought it for her. And they want to know what you gave her!

The smaller gift that’s unique to her is not really for exhibition purposes. More to show her you care about her intimately. Of course you can add a tertiary present, say spa treatment, manicure, pedicure. It all depends on what you can afford. (Presents are never too many for women. Women lurv presents!) She just wants to feel special and know you consider her that special. That’s all!

And now to the card. Don’t choose a bland card with economical expression. Words matter to women. If no card can convey your thoughts take pen to paper and write how you feel. That’s even more special! Don’t know what to write? Simply say so!

“Dear Jil, I really don’t know what to write… But how can a man ever know what to write about such a wonderful woman…”

Continue! Just be sincere.

Now the timing of your gift matters. If you want her to wear the present, deliver it hours before with instructions not to open till after the birthday midnight! And talking about midnight, she wants to receive your birthday text first. Better keep a night vigil till 12midnight! Don’t let another man beat you to the time. That can be dangerous!

On the birthday itself, send a cake and in the evening take her out. Go to where you can afford. If it’s not that posh a restaurant, take a short stroll after to compensate (if context permits). Hold her hand please!

And drive her home, even if it’s a cab. You’re a gentleman! Tell her you hope she had a wonderful birthday! It’s another way of saying you really tried! And you did! She may need a week to get over the day. And who knows, she may need a lifetime to get over you!

I remain yours faithfully,

Your Mentor, LA.


NB: If per chance you can’t afford much this year, give her your best, and add a promissory note.


©Leke Alder 2013

Tags : Presents, Gift, Birthday

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