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Read Letter

Ladies Guild

Dear Jil,

Ever since the publication of The Gentleman’s Code, I have been inundated with requests to publish a ladies edition.

The testimonials from the publication of the Code have been incredible. A young man for example realised he’d been treating his girlfriend disrespectfully without realising it. He amended his ways. Perhaps we can achieve similar results with the publication of a code of etiquette for women. I have compiled a guide. I call it Ladies Guild. It’s kind of a ladies society thing. (“Ladies Code” sounds too harsh!) I have once more asked the design team at @alderconsulting to design a brand element. They’re kind! Here’s The Ladies Guild – an Etiquette Guide for Women:

A lady sits properly in public. She crosses her legs and maintains decorum.

A lady does not walk carelessly – she walks with esteem in measured steps. She carries herself well.

A lady is polite. She says “Please!” and says “Thank you!”

A lady accepts compliments, graciously.

A lady is not rude or insultive. She is not uncouth and never uses foul language or swear words.

A lady does not lose her propriety or temper. She does not raise her voice, and will not engage in brawls or street fights.

A lady is not abusive behind the wheel and does not drive meanly. She’s considerate on the road.

A lady is chaste. She is mindful of her reputation.

A lady does not shout across the road or down the street. Neither does she shout to her neighbours in the morning.

A lady is not loud on the phone. She maintains a decorous tone as is becoming of a lady.

A lady understands the rules of fashion. She matches her clothes to occasion. She neither over-dresses nor under-dresses.

A lady does not wear white shoes to business meetings or the office. She does not wear jeans to dinner.

A lady’s dress does not show her bra strap or panty lines. She wears spanx as appropriate.

A lady’s slip (or undies) does not show in public. A lady does not cheapen her sexuality.

A lady does not appear in public in hair rollers, hairnets or pyjamas. Outside her bedroom she wears a robe.

A lady never goes out unpresentably. She’s mindful of her appearance and image.

A lady’s clothes are well laundered and neat. A lady does not recycle dirty clothes or underwear.

A lady is careful about the display of her underwear on clothes lines. She avoids public exposure.

A lady speaks good English. She watches her tenses, minds her diction and is conscious of her grammar.

A lady does not chew gum open-mouthedly or energetically; neither does she pop gum. She chews discreetly.

A lady does not stick gum under a table or on a seat. She doesn’t throw gum on the floor.

A lady maintains table manners. She never talks with her mouth full.

A lady knows how to read a menu and pronounce items on a restaurant menu. She schools herself.

A lady knows how to set a dinner table. ***

On a date, a lady does not order food greedily. She orders what she can eat. Her goal is not take away.

A lady knows how to use a cutlery set. She understands course meal etiquette. She starts the courses with the outermost fork.

A lady does not wolf down food at table. She eats with finesse.

A lady is not garrulous at table. She does not monopolise conversation or divide the table.

A lady sits up straight. A lady does not slouch at table.

A lady dislodges food item stuck in her teeth most discreetly, or she excuses herself to do so.

A lady gives no reason for excusing herself at table. She does not explain why.

A lady does not burp loudly in public.

A lady does not slurp her tea or drink tea from large mugs in public. She does not lift tea with a spoon.

A lady seeks to be respected for her intellect. She reads wide. She holds her own in intelligent company.

A lady does not pick her nose in public; neither does she foul the air.

A lady does not get drunk in public.

A lady grooms herself and moisturizes her skin.

A lady does manicure and pedicure. Her nail polish is not chipped. She does not bite her nails.

A lady is particular about hygiene. She pays particular attention to oral, intimate and hair hygiene.

A lady shaves her legs, arms and arm pit. She plucks facial hair.

A lady uses deodorant. She wears and carries a perfume in her bag.

A lady does not discuss her monthly period in public.

A lady switches on the tap to muffle her use of the rest room.

A lady does not shunt a queue. She respects herself in public.

A lady is considerate. She holds the door for those behind, even men.

A lady knows how to give gifts and address notes for gifts.

A lady doesn’t say, “Where do I know you from?”, or “Aren’t you going to get married?” or “No children yet?”

A lady does not lead men on or toy with the emotions of others.

Your mentor, LA.


©Leke Alder 2013


Tags : Lady, Etiquette

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