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Read Letter

Maleness vs Manhood

My dear Jack,

How are you today? It’s yet another Saturday and here I am writing you once more on the issues of life.

I want to point your attention to something significant, something germane. I want you to note the difference between being a male and being a man. Many young men mistake the two. They think them synonymous. Nothing can be farther from the truth.

Maleness is about sexuality. Manhood is about responsibility. The ability to have sex must not be confused with the tokens of manhood. It is indeed foolish to mistake the amplitude of genitalia for proof of manhood. If you follow the philosophy of so-called “Men’s magazines” you’ll do yourself harm. They deify physicality to the detriment of responsibility. Abs have nothing to do with manhood. You cannot claim to be a man through sexual conquest and repudiate responsibility for the natural consequences of your ardour.

Unfortunately most testosterone laden young men suspend their reasoning in the lustful quest for sexual aggrandizement. Be careful about “free”, “easy” and “cheap” sex. They tend to have hooks.You can’t be trapped if you don’t take the bait.

It’s important to be focused in life, to have a sense of direction. To know you’re going somewhere even if it’s not exactly clear where or how you’ll get there.

Loveless sex is sex without readiness for responsibility. Better to seek a wholesome relationship. It’s healthier! And you don’t waste your life.

Being male requires no effort. You were born a male. But being a man requires effort. Being male is a genetic gift. Being a man is proof of what you’re made of. It takes more than sex to be a man. Every father wants his daughter to marry a man. If you can’t take care of yourself how will you take care of your woman? A man has his own home. A man provides his own food. A man has a job. A man takes care of his woman. A man takes care of his child. A man takes responsibility for the natural consequences of his actions. A man aspires. A man works to become respected. A man honours his father and mother. A man thinks. A man is wise. A man has responsibility towards God. Manhood is a quest, a journey.

I adjure you most earnestly: Become a man! Be the man!

Your mentor, LA.


©Leke Alder 2013


Tags : Responsibility, Manhood, Sex

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