Dear Jack,
Let me share with you once more insight about the mystery of the woman. This is timely as you consider marriage. It’s important for you to gain a knowledge of the woman beyond social parameters, to know how to tap into her capacities.
A woman has capacities. Only pray she never turns her capacities against you. It’s a phenomenon! This destructive dynamo can be triggered by an emotional switch with a relay to the past. It’s one more reason to let go of the past and forgive. An unforgiven past can wreck a wonderful present.
Our knowledge of the woman is mostly founded on her sexuality not her essence. As a concept she’s metaphysical. That means there’s a reality about her beyond what is perceptible to the senses. So powerful a concept is the woman that even she grapples with understanding herself.
The knowledge of a woman is an arcanum. An arcanum is mysterious knowledge accessible to only initiates. Among the apostles for example, only Apostle Paul was given insight into the mystery of the woman.
A woman is an incredibly potentiated being. She was conceptualised as a helper. This shatters the notion of the all sufficient male! Within the context of marriage, a woman helps a man attain purpose and actualise vision, giving emotional support.
A woman chiefly helps you by exuding from inside her a conducive operating environment for you to work in. Make her believe in you. Integrity. It’s an incredible thing when a woman believes in a man. You literarily want a woman by your side! She is like a horse in battle. Fearless! It’s why she’s the first to try new things, including the forbidden fruit.
A woman is always the first to go into a new supermarket, or a new salon, or new eatery, or a new church. Her spectrum runs from mere inquisitiveness (including lust for gist and gossip), to fearlessness, to brazenness.
To be a helper is to have capacity to help. And this includes emotional capacity. Without that emotional capacity a woman can’t empathise with your difficulties and circumstances. So when next you complain about women and their emotions, bear that in mind. She need not understand the details of your vision or what exactly you’re doing. She’ll rather concentrate on your person.
You know she loves you when she has implicit faith in you, celebrates YOUR capacities or just thinks admiringly of you. Your challenge is how to discover her hidden capacities and tap into them. She has capacities she herself is not even aware of until circumstances demand.
A woman will go to the ends of the Earth to save the man she loves! A woman loves from self conviction. It’s why she can be blind to conflicting extraneous information. Men are not like that. We love from persuasion. It’s why we need validation of our choice. A man almost never believes he’s got a gem until his friends say so. Most times our boastfulness about our women, especially when we believe they’re beautiful is a quest for validation. Sometimes we’re trying to persuade others and even ourselves that we chose the best! If you’re with friends and she walks in dressed to the nines, your cranium suffers expansionistic abnormality. You become a humpty-dumptinised galactosemic – a ferae naturae with cardiac unrhythm. It’s because she looks like a vision. That’s why your head swells! And your friends will be soft towards her, show kindness to her and engage her. There you have your validation. But if she looks unrepresentative, you get disappointed. There won’t be validation of your choice!
You’ll get more out of the woman if you tease out her capacities, not coarse them out. You tease capacities out of a woman with loving affection. Women respond to love. And they want the love demonstrated.
A woman wants assurance of exclusive love and attention. She sometimes works assiduously for that assurance. When you acknowledge her efforts and compliment her, it’s like a reward to her. And you can’t do that enough! She needs constant assurance. She sometimes has self doubts. She second – guesses her quality. That produces insecurity. She needs constant affirmation. Your assurances assuage her doubts and feelings. Even if you record “I love you” on a CD and play it every ten minutes, she’ll still want live performance!
If you want to get the best out of a woman you must be in touch with your emotions. Men often have problems expressing their feelings. We repress our emotions and call it manliness. That has its use but expression of affection has greater use. You are unleashing power! Test the veracity of what I’m saying. Send her a loving text now. (If you can’t (yet) compose a loving text, send her an emoticon from your phone, say a heart, or pierced heart or flowers). Whatever reaction you get from her is a good reaction I assure you, even if she’s cynical! If you’re not known for such gestures, at first she’ll wonder, a tad suspicious but nonetheless happy in her insides. Two bubbles of excitement will burp up, but she doesn’t want to get her hopes up. It’s because she’s a bit angry you should have been doing this, erasing her self doubt. If she feigns surprise or expresses softened cynicism, she’s just asking for more. Do more. You need her help.
Are you going to send her that text or not? Or would you rather write a note, or scale up by buying a present? 🙂 She’s waiting to be surprised!
Your mentor, LA
©Leke Alder 2013