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Read Letter

The Gentleman’s Code

Dear Jack,

I’m a bit concerned about some of the things I see going on. Seems our societal values are now so warped distortions are normative.

Take wife abuse. Because many families have a history of violence, it’s become linearity. Grandfather beat grandmother, father beats mother, son beats wife. Generational tutorial on wife abuse! Whatever happened to chivalry! Where are the gentlemen?! I have taken time out to write a gentleman’s etiquette. It’s a dating etiquette. (Etiquette literally means ticket. Was first used as a word in 1750. Might just be your ticket to a lady’s heart!) I asked the design department at Alder Consulting to create a brand element for it. You can use as display picture on your phone or share.

Here then is the Gentleman’s Code of Conduct:

A gentleman is respectful of women. He treats a lady with consideration and dignity.

A gentleman grooms himself. He wears deodorant, with a dash of cologne.

A gentleman is conscious of oral hygiene.

A gentleman dresses well, even in casuals. He knows how to carry a suit.

A gentleman keeps his date, arriving at least five minutes earlier to receive the lady. If a gentleman can’t make a date, he informs the lady timeously and promises to make up for it given another opportunity.

A gentleman is culturally literate. He’s well read. He educates his heart through humanities. Can keep a conversation.

A gentleman is not garrulous in the company of a lady. He allows for conversation.

A gentleman does not pick calls on a date (or text away), unless it’s critically urgent. And he excuses himself.

A gentleman doesn’t shout on the phone. He won’t disturb his neighbours or violate noise levels.

A gentleman knows how to use cutlery. He learns the course etiquette for dinners.

A gentleman doesn’t slurp his tea. He doesn’t talk with his mouth full. Neither does he eat loudly.

A gentleman covers his mouth at the employ of a toothpick. He doesn’t use it as ornamentation.

A gentleman does not run commentary at a movie theatre. He does not take phone calls at the movies.

A gentleman opens the door for a lady. Allows a lady to pass through. He gives priority to ladies on the stairs.

A gentleman picks up the tab on a date. That is one thing he’ll never share or apportion. And he tips generously.

A gentleman is trustworthy. No matter how late it is, the lady feels safe with him. She fears no molestation.

A gentleman walks on the outer part of the foot lane. He shields the lady from traffic.

A gentleman takes a woman home after a date. Where circumstances do not permit, he puts her in a safe cab and pays the fare.

A gentleman calls to be sure his date got home safe, and he expresses his appreciation for the evening.

A gentleman is patient for the first kiss. He never forces himself on a lady. He is not brutish.

A gentleman is not presumptuous with respect to the desires of a lady. He is not forward, or froward.

A gentleman does not take economic, emotional or physical advantage of a woman. He’s not predaceous.

A gentleman appreciates the worth of his woman. And every so often he affirms that worth in words kind and soft.

A gentleman compliments a lady. He commends her beauty and effort.

A gentleman remembers dates and anniversaries. And once every while, surprises with gifts, notes or flowers.

A gentleman buys thoughtful presents. He sends cards that tug at heart strings, expressing sincere affection.

A gentleman is not deceitful, malicious or given to ignoble passions.

A gentleman is not selfish and he’s not self centered. Ever chivalrous, he’s ever kind and thoughtful.

A gentleman keeps his word. His word is his honour.

A gentleman understands emotional fealty and the value of commitment.

A gentleman does not kiss and tell, literally. He will not discuss his woman in idle fora.

A gentleman takes responsibility for the natural consequences of his actions. He will not run away.

A gentleman listens. He does not suppress his woman, or emotionally bludgeon her into submission.

A gentleman says “I’m sorry” when he’s wrong. He admits errors and mistakes.

A gentleman does not batter women. He keeps calm under provocation and would rather walk away.

A gentleman maintains his nobility irrespective of the outcome of a relationship.

A gentleman sets his phone to silent mode at public events. He excuses himself to take a call.

A gentleman will not allow a lady to struggle with a load. He gives up his seat for ladies and the elderly.

A gentleman lifts the seat on the toilet bowl in consideration of ladies. He says “restroom” or uses other social epithets.

A gentleman pays attention to the gentle nuances and accents of grace of his woman. He’s sensitive to her needs and feelings.

Are you the gentleman she’s been waiting for, or should she look for another?

Your mentor, LA


©Leke Alder 2013


Tags : Character, Male etiquette, Value

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