‘Tis that season again. The season of Christmas. It’s the season of love and joy, and goodwill to all men. What I want to do in this letter is bring to your remembrance some of the things we shared in the course of the year. I do hope you’ve bought the gift for your wife. Make it something special for her. Well, here are the nuggets from our discussions this year. Enjoy!
Take responsibility for your life, take responsibility for your acts, take responsibility for your ventures.
The essence of the physical is attraction. But without character, values and emotional balance a marriage hardly stands a chance.
The most significant value in a relationship or marriage is trust. Don’t violate trust. A very successful and happy marriage requires total commitment on both sides.
The biggest fundamental in a relationship is peace. Without peace there can be no happiness.
Just the feeling of being loved somnambulates. You feel peace, happiness, contentment and wellbeing. When a home is peaceful it is noise insulated from the stress on the streets of life.
If you don’t appreciate what you have you’ll lust after the things others have. Be content. If you want to be happy in life learn contentment. Contentment is a decision. Contentment is about being satisfied and being gratified with the woman you have.
Now, it may seem some people have effortless success, but move closer and you’ll see it’s an illusion. If it looks excellent on stage there’s unimaginable energy and obsessive attention to detail behind the scene. It’s the ultimate pose to make hard work seem effortless. It’s art, but it doesn’t take away from the hard work. No success comes without hardwork, however smart you work.
Too many people are looking for grand breaks in life, but the little breaks create the doorknob to the grand break.
Relationships are powerful equations. They command a direct effect on our vocation or professional calling.
There are relationships you must cut off once you marry. Especially relationships with high passion potential.
In the search for a woman several things weigh on the mind. There are wants and there are needs.
A lonely man is vulnerable.
If there’s nothing you learn about God know this: his mercy always triumphs over dogma.
Solomon says the only thing headier than wine is love. Now you understand why young men in love talk expansively.
When you know who you want to become you’ll know who you should date or not date.
When you meet that woman you just know she’s the one.
There’s more to life than the past.
With or without a child a marriage subsists. The child is a blessing – an addition. It is NOT the definition of the marriage.
There are things only a woman can give you. Extraordinary issues of life emanate from her core.
You’re going to marry a woman not a body. You’ve got to look beyond the body.
Relationships require work. How much effort you put in indicates how much you want your marriage.
Making a woman’s heart say yes isn’t enough; you have to bring the moment back after you marry her.
A good start does not imply a good finish. There’s a lot in between.
Go for authenticity. Imagery must be backed with substance.
Marriage is a faith adventure…You’ll never control all the variables.
If you don’t see happiness down the line re-evaluate your relationship. The issues are always apparent during courtship.
If it’s not looking good, if you have no peace, if it’s debilitating or distressing, please rethink. BUT, if she’s THE ONE – everything will seem so organic, effortless. It would seem you’ve known her forever.
Love your wife. Affirm her. Believe in her. Support her. Allow her be.
What many have not realized is, whatever you want in a relationship is what you’ve got to give.
Be careful what you say to her, and how you say it. Words mean a lot to a woman.
Don’t father what you can’t provide for.
Marriage is a continuous self-improvement course. It’s a lifetime school.
Love is important in a marriage. Very important. Very, very important. Very, very, very important.
Choice is not always easy. It can get complicated with things like lust, desires, ambition and vanity. Don’t allow anyone choose a wife for you. They’ll be choosing THEIR taste in women. They can’t know your secret taste. Marry the woman you consider beautiful and whom you’re attracted to. Don’t ignore the physical.
Beauty is a wonderful coincidence of genes. The real judge of a person is character.
A woman determines the quality of life a man has.
If you want to live big time you work big time!
Put a knife to your throat, sheath your organ. Stop being reckless with sex and consumption.
If you want love give love. That’s the law of life. What we want we must give.
It’s okay to be vulnerable with a loved one, with someone whose love cannot be doubted, whose commitment is unassailable.
When friendship breaks down in a marriage, pretty much else fail to hold. Friendship is soul glue.
What eventually decides the success of a marriage are the non physical attributes – values, disposition, character.
Process your wife’s actions through the prism of her character. Avoid communication dead ends, where discussions terminate. They’re dangerous in a relationship.
Every time you fall, stand up and run after God. God is not condemnatory. We are!
I wish you a very wonderful Christmas and a happy New Year!
Your mentor, LA
© Leke Alder | talk2me@lekealder.com