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Read Letter

Few Nuggets There and Here

Dear Jil,

‘Tis that season again. The season of Christmas. It’s the season of love and joy, and goodwill to all men. What I want to do in this letter is bring to your remembrance some of the things we shared in the course of the year. I do hope you’ve bought the gift for your husband. Make it something special for him. Well, here are the nuggets from our discussions this year. Enjoy!
Good relationships require commitment. And good relationships are not ready-made. Neither is a good marriage.

Sensitivity is one of the most important ingredients in a marriage. It bespeaks care.

Marriage processes you whether you like it or not. It is a powerful institution.

Love is not negative energy. It cannot fuel a quarrel. Because you love each other your heart won’t be able to sustain the stress of a quarrel. Love always wants reconciliation.

It’s better to have love and affection surplus in a relationship than an emotional deficit.

Love matters! A marriage without love is a trap of dutifulness and unhappiness. Man, woman, we all want love.

Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

The quantity of love you want is the quantity you must give.

There is the emotion of love and, the ideals and dutifulness of love. Both are important.

If you want to be happy in marriage you must be accommodating.

With age comes appreciation of the graciousness of life. With age also comes maturity, and a considerate approach to marriage.

Communication, communication, communication. It’s one of the most important ingredients of marriage.

I say discuss everything… And I mean everything…if you’re going to spend the rest of your life with someone.

Marriage is potent. Marriage ought to be joyful. It’s supposed to be a haven of peace, love and happiness.

Surely the proof of a man’s value is not in the instigation of unhealthy rivalry in women. It’s character.

When making choices, think about the future. Always think of your future despite the natural inclination of youth to only think of the here and now.

There’s something about life. One day you’re young, the next you’re wondering where the years have gone!

Don’t lose your husband’s friendship. It’s invaluable. It’s what’s left after the sex and the teeth are gone in old age.

The human psyche is complex. It is influenced by many factors, including our backgrounds. Life is not 2D.

That something is supernatural doesn’t mean it’s of God. Lucifer is supernatured.

You don’t need spiritual consultants. You don’t need a “prophet” divining for you. You have access to God yourself.

Forgiveness is never about the other person. It’s about us. We forgive even if the other person does not ask for it.

Don’t believe what a man says with his mouth if his actions say otherwise.

The irony of life is that those who withhold affection require it the most.

Our life philosophies determine our paths and the outcomes of our lives.

You have to take on the moral responsibility for your happiness in a relationship.

You have to take moral responsibility for your happiness in life, no matter the previous chapters of your life.

Find your happiness in yourself. It’s not in any man. It’s in you. The issues of life proceed from the heart.

A good mother-in-law treats her daughter-in-law like her own daughter; cares for her, prays for her.

The more mature you become the more you know what you should want in a man.

Sort out the issues between you and your husband. Having recourse to third parties is a beginning of troubles.

What a joy a relationship will be when both parties are givers! The relationship will not lack emotional nourishment.

Giving enhances a relationship because it focuses us on the other party. And so it’s an antidote to selfishness.

Meaningful giving demands generosity of soul. The beauty of a generous life is screened from the stingy of heart.

You can’t be me-focused in a relationship. There has to be a sense of consideration for the other party.

True love is organic, natural… It’s freely and willingly given, not extracted.

The first consideration in marriage is the personal qualities of your suitor. Nobody dates a tribe.

No matter how long you date someone there’ll be unknowns. Those unknowns only come out within contexts.

A successful marriage is simply two hearts in constancy of agreement. Beautiful things can come from a merger of differences. Parties in a relationship don’t have to have the same interests. When couples forbear each other’s interests the differences will cooperate to produce harmony. Successful relationships are absorbent. Successful relationships don’t point out faults incessantly.

Gather enough data to make a sound judgment. This is your life we’re talking about. Marriage is not a ceremony.

You’ve got to trust God for a good man, one who wants to take care of you and not feed off you.

Create as much distance between you and the past. Those who don’t let go of the past disturb the future. Let go.

One of the reasons God gives us partners is for dedicated customized proprietary affection to meet our emotional needs.

Marriage is a repository of confidences, strengths and weaknesses. Trust will always be a major factor in marriage.

A marital relationship is a triangulated covenant. It’s between you, your God and your spouse.

A relationship in concept is a contributory scheme – each party contributing.

A relationship is a perfecting platform not a platform for the perfect.

Men need as much love as women. Love is not a gender issue; it’s a humanity issue.

Ultimately everyone determines the character and flavour of their marriage.

Love is not proud. In fact love is so accommodating it hardly notices it when the other person does it wrong.

I wish you a very wonderful Christmas and a happy New Year!

Your mentor, LA

© Leke Alder |

Tags : Love, Life, Marriage, Happiness

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