My dear Jack, I want you to listen to me and listen to me real good: You’ll lose this woman if care is not taken. And if you lose her you’ll lose real big. You’ve so driven your wife to the edge of despair that pain has blunted her life and cardinal orientation. She knows no more the North, West, South or East of your matrimonial journey. She’s in that much despair. She’s fighting for her emotional and mental health, and when you drive a woman to that point anything can happen. I’m being real Truth is not always comfortable or politically correct. One day you’ll come home and she’s goneThe kids as well. You’ll feel her presence in the house by the emptiness of her being from the environment and surroundings. Her wardrobe will be empty, your kitchen will be empty, your bedroom will be empty. It will be you and the walls. By the time what happened dawns on you she’ll be so emotionally distanced from you in nautical miles. And when you cry at your loss the empty chamber of your house will echo your foolishnesses.
Your mother is severely oppressing your wife. You know it and you won’t do anything about it. Some of the things your mum has done to this woman… they’re so heinous. Is she not your wife! Your non-remonstration of your mum over this matter makes you an accomplice to her emotional terror. You’re not listening to the wailing anguish of the soul of your wife. She’s desperately crying for help. You shouldn’t have sited your matrimonial home a walking distance from your mum and your sister. Now they just stroll over to the house in your absence and terrorise your wife. I do know some mothers have a hold over their sons, but this is not even a hold anymore. This is a choke!
Your mum gives instructions to your wife in your home in your absence – instructions that compromise your marriage. You think you’re being a loving son to your mum but she’s destroying your marriage from inside out. She’s executing an agenda to drive away your wife so she has you all to herself. She sees your wife as rival.
A mother-in-law cannot be a terrorist agency. Where’s the place of the word, “mother”? There are some aspects of your culture that are inconsistent with matrimonial peace and stability. Renounce them. These cultural totems have been destroying marriages before Johnny Walker began to walk. You ought to beware of a culture that recognizes only motherhood and not marriages. These culture will only recognize your wife if she bears children, and it gives primacy to your mother in your marriage. If you buy into that kind of culture you’ll wreck your home. Again truth is bitter. Such cultures make auto provision for second wife once your home is wrecked. It’s a turnkey system. Your mother subscribes to this terrible culture, so do you by acquiescence. She’s already shopping for your alternate wife
It’s important a woman feels safe in her marriage, that she doesn’t feel insecure in her home. As it is your mum is the ratifying agency for the discussions in your home. How can?! If you want to be mama’s boy you can’t be a husband. Boys don’t marry, men do. And being a man means having conviction, being capable of defending your home, protecting your wife. Of course you must also be able to provide for your children. But your mum thinks she’s the primary focus in your marriage, not your wife. You have three people in that marriage. Don’t get me wrong. You know I’m one for honouring parents. It’s the first commandment with promise. But your mum thinks your wife’s needs are secondary at best. That her requirements are first and foremost. That is most selfish of her and the consequences will soon confront you like a street thug. You can’t marry your mother.
Meanwhile your wife heavily subsidises expenses at home. Your mum doesn’t know. Thinks it’s all your money. Even accuses her of blowing your money every time she wears something good – things she procured herself. If you don’t militate the aggressive proprietary posture of your mum you’ll lose your marriage. Your matrimonial home is not your mother’s house, it belongs to your wife. Your mother has hers. Your mum can’t be matching into your matrimonial bedroom at will… You’ll frustrate and anger your wife. If you want to be a man you’ve got to be able to take hard decisions. If you’re not ready to displease your mum to save your marriage from her, you’re going to be a divorcee soon. A terrorized wife is not the picture of a home! It’s not God’s idea. That woman is part of you. She’s you according to the Volume of Revelation. If you imagine your wife a third party to you you’re grossly mistaken. She’s you! And so when your mum terrorizes her you’ll soon feel the reverberations. And it’s going to wallop you in the face.
Call your mum to order before she wrecks your marriage. Your mum can only respect you more, even if grudgingly. The emotional wellbeing of your wife is critical. If she knows no peace, you won’t know peace. I’ll advice you beg your wife. The state she’s in… her mind is almost made up. Almost! You’ve got one shot. Blow it… When that happens you’ll meet the woman you never met. You’ll see a woman you’ve never seen before. She will turn her emotional capacities into a weapon. You don’t want weaponised emotions! Her feelings are dead from all the trauma. And when a woman doesn’t care anymore… heaven help you! Save your marriage before it’s too late. Beg your wife! You owe her serious apologies. Go away with your wife for the weekend and talk it all over. Start afresh. Ask her to forgive you. And if I were you, I’ll withdraw the house key from your mum and change the locks. It’s not her home, it’s your wife’s. If you don’t listen to me now, you’ll listen to voice of regrets soon.
Your mentor, LA
© Leke Alder | talk2me@lekealder.com