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Read Letter

She Who Must Be Desired

My dear Jack, what kind of partner should you desire in marriage? What type of marriage? I’d say pray for someone who wants you, who’ll be so identified with you she’s you. Two people, one life. 
You should pray for a woman who cares about you, who sees your success as her success and her success as yours. Someone you’ll wake up happy with. No matter what life throws at you, you’ll take it with a combined front. You know she’s got your back, will quietly defend you in all realms of human existence. You want a deep relationship, a communion of spirit, a fluidity of soul.

You want to be the best for her, to do the best for her, to provide the best for her, as far as God gives you strength. Her heart reaches out to you wherever you may be. Her heart is in constant communication with you. You have an inseparable future, you can’t imagine life without her, don’t want to.

She loves you, wants you, wants to be with you, always. She enjoys being your wife. It’s a role and a duty. She’s your guardian angel. She loves you to heaven and back. She’ll sacrifice for you, and you for her. She’s you, you’re her. You cherish her and cherish the relationship you have. It’s a magical thing – defies explanation. She’s counting on your love every day, and you on hers. You don’t want to be with anyone else, just her. You wake up each morning giving thanks to God for her, for giving her to you, for who she is. She softens your life with tenderness. Her love and care makes your road bearable, even enjoyable. She’s your one consolation in this sometimes difficult journey called life. She’s a child of destiny.

She defends her marriage in ways unseen, loves all that’s yours, proud of you always. She gives you kind advice, shows she cares for you in a thousand and four subtle ways. She’s your friend, your confidant, your encourager, your pillow, your comfort.

You watch over her, soothe her fears, affirm her daily with loving affection. Your home is full of love, unity and harmony. You can feel the fullness of her love. You want to spend eternity with her. You care about her, her health… You want her in full health and vitality.

She dresses for you, to make you proud and happy, and make others envious of your good fortune. And when she sends you that meme that says, “My husband has an awesome wife,” you couldn’t agree more!

There’s an unfathomable peace about your relationship. Your heart is settled. She answers your fears, and however you question your decision, she makes your doubts doubt themselves. You wonder to yourself what you could have done to deserve such a one, how magnificent God has been to you.

She’s not competing with you, and you’re not competing with her. You complement each other. You’re one. Your achievements are her achievements, hers are yours. You bask in each other’s success. She’s not threatened by you, you’re not threatened by her. You’re a seamless team.

She puts you first in everything, just as you put her first in everything. She allows you be you. You’re yourself with her. No contrivances and impressions. You’re just you. And when you’re broke, she’s understanding. You can tell her the truth, no need for pretenses. She trusts you.

She serves as your public relations consultant, your advertising agency. She’s also your intelligence asset. You both share a vision. You’re what life conquest could be if pursued in oneness. She’s a vision to you. She’s beautiful to you. But the most beautiful thing about her is her heart. That heart wants the bests for you, always. That heart prays for you, always. That heart defends you before invisible enemies.

You defer to her in love, allow her point of view. Her wisdom is coupled with love. And that’s a powerful equation. You just want to be with this person. You want to spend endless time with her. You never tire of each other.

She brings stability to your heart. You share these unspoken conversations of the heart. There’s a secret corridor in her heart that connects to yours. You dream together – unspoken dreams of the heart. One heart, one dream, one life. You trust her with your heart, and your life. You’re not afraid of loving her, or trusting her. You know her strengths, and you help her build on it.

You want the best for her always, and you pray to be successful to take care of her in the way she deserves. She gives you no troubles, only loving “troubles” – the type everyman desires. She’ll step in where you’re lacking, so much so third parties can’t notice the difference. And just by looking at the two of you, the world can tell you love each other. And that puts some at bay. Her love for you is from deep down there, a place indefinable, in the shape of a heart.

If you’re lucky to find such an one, to have the experience described, then God has truly blessed you. It is an irony of life that you must be deserving of such a blessing, yet so undeserving. Such blessing is the blessedness of Providence, the mercy of Omnipotence.

Now, some will tell you such love is unattainable, that such a relationship is a mirage. But they speak of what they know, which is what they don’t know. It’s up to you what you want to aspire to, but you shouldn’t desire less for yourself. You deserve happiness. Love is a friendship of the heart. What you’re looking for is that one heart that beats in cadence with yours. That one heart your heart resonates with. I hope you find it. When you find her, don’t lose her.

Your mentor, LA

© Leke Alder |

Tags : Love, Romance, Marriage

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