My dear Jack,
let me explain the concept of beauty to you. It’s important you grasp it to avoid a wrong judgment call on the choice of marriage partner.
What I’m about to explain is the Peterist model. It’s based on Peter’s epistolary output. The Peterist model parameterises beauty. Gives us three types. The first parameter of beauty is incarnate beauty- what we call physical beauty. Beauty may be in the eye of the beholder but there are some women everyone agrees on. Such is like a Miss World contest. There is collective bargaining and agreement on such beauty. It’s not subjective, not lensed through the cultural prism of an interested party. Physical beauty is a wondrous combination of donated genes. Some people just have good donors. Plastic surgery can of course do wonders but it’s a poor synthetic attempt at matching the competence of nature. The second type of beauty according to the Peterist model is accessorised beauty. It’s the beauty that comes from accessorisation- fancy hairstyle, expensive jewelry, beautiful clothes. Versace, Prada, Louis Vuitton and Bulgari do wonders on uncomeliness. Money has transformative power on ugliness. There is such a thing as the glory of diamonds. The 3rd type of beauty in the Peterist model is what we generally refer to as inner beauty. It’s the beauty of the heart. It’s virtue based and manifests in character. The combination of the three types of beauty will of course be potent.
Imagine a very attractive woman decked in gold and high fashion, and a wondrous heart. That is a vision. But since only a minimal percentage of the population sample size has physical beauty it follows that a tri-combination of all parameters of beauty will indeed be a most rare occurrence. Which beauty should you then go for: incarnate, accessorised or inner beauty? Of course some people will insist you focus on inner beauty, and that is all well and good. They’re right! But it becomes a stretch when they tell you the physical doesn’t matter. They’re lying to you, and themselves. Watch their reaction when a beautiful woman walks into a room- you know, a babe! And men can be fixated on particularities, like breasts, legs and derriere. Isn’t derriere a major appeal of Kim?
For Solomon for example breasts mattered a lot. He wrote about it. He also liked exotica. His muse- the Shulammite in his Songs collection was exotic by the standards of those days. She was “dark and lovely”. Now you know where the name for Dark and Lovely hair products came from- the Bible. She had a “sweet voice” and a “lovely face”, her “eyes like doves”, her hair like that of a mountain goat. She had perfect white teeth, scarlet lips, rouged up cheeks, long neck, breasts “like fawns”. There was no flaw in her, Solomon declared. She totally captivated his heart. On top of that she was highly accessorised by Solomon. He bought her jewelry.
But physical beauty has limitation. It is skin deep. And that’s not enough depth for the potency of marriage. As for accessorised beauty, it’s really conferred beauty- the transferred glory of clothes and jewelry. The truth however is, in both the Peterist and Solomonic models the highest form of beauty is inner beauty. Now, it’s a bit hard to define or describe inner beauty. It’s intangible yet so real. But I got an insight on its tangibility. Took some grappling but I finally pinned it down. Inner beauty is a kind, peaceful and loving heart. The beauty of a kind and loving heart is more glorious than the prowess of physical beauty. Kindness makes someone attractive, Solomon said. So we do know kindness has magnetic quality. If physical beauty creates attraction, and kindness creates attraction then both must have similar properties. But the sheer output of a devious heart will make you forget physical beauty in less than it takes to make instant coffee.
That beautiful woman will soon look magnificently ugly if she’s evil. If character can make someone beautiful, a deficiency of it can make someone patently ugly. Character is beauty. That’s what Peter was trying to pass across when he spoke about “the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit”. Physical beauty has an expiry date. Beauty from character has no expiry date. It just keeps keeping on. It’s why you think your kind grandmother is so beautiful; this despite her leathery skin!
One translation renders Peter’s recommendation as follows: “The unfading charm of a gentle and peaceful spirit”. So from the foregoing, I’d say go for her instead of the characterless Miss World. And she’s not bad! Better to marry her than marry that vixen who gives no hoot about you, is rude and disrespectful of your parents. If you marry the vixen you will be making the biggest mistake of your life. The realisation will hit you max 4 months into the marriage. And I’m being generous. You’ll make your life difficult. Accessorise this other woman instead. Combined with her character you have a comely winner. But if you allow your vanity to overtake your reason you will live a life of regrets. I hope this has been helpful.
Your mentor, LA
© Leke Alder talk2me@lekealder.com