My dear Jack, sometimes we think we can use matrimony to force-convert a bad relationship. We imagine bolting the door with a matrimonial padlock. We want to use fait accompli to tame the wild beast inside. We imagine proceeding a relationship – in which the parties are constantly bickering – to marriage will force accommodation. But life’s numerous case studies say otherwise – that we’re only incubating the evil day. The destructive forces locked up in that relationship will eventually blow the door of the matrimony to splinters. If at all, marriage only makes such relationships worse. It locks up two disagreeable people in an intimate space. That’s a recipe for disaster.
The reason some marriages are explosive and destructive is because of the energy system locked up in marriage. There are two principles dictating this energy system. The first is summed up in this ancient saying: “One shall put to flight a thousand, two shall put to flight ten thousand.” In other words, a binary equation yields energy in multiples of the capacity of a singularity, up to ten times. In simple English, the combined capacity of a husband and wife is ten times the capacity of either of them. That order of magnitude makes a marriage potent and powerful, explains the emotional violence that attends to divorce. But if a couple knows how to harness the power of their combination, the propulsion for promotion will be incredible. But it also means nobody can break a marriage if a couple stands together.
For a marriage to break from external pressure there must be fissure within. It’s why Satan seeks to create disharmony in a marriage. Without that disharmony the marriage cannot break. Faith in each other and in each other’s love binds a couple together. Fear, doubt and accusation degrade the faith in a marriage, and make the marriage vulnerable. And if you notice the pattern of marriage breakers they introduce doubt, induce fear & generate accusation in a marriage. They facilitate accusation by reporting unverified stories to plant doubts and fear, insinuate things. Once a party accepts the doubt being planted, it produces fear and insecurity. The marriage begins to crack from within. And the fissure progresses to the outside. It always starts within. In other words, marriages are embedded in the hearts of couples. It’s not an external thing they subscribe to. The union must crack in the heart before it can crack on the outside. Avoid accusation in your marriage. Don’t let people plant doubts about your partner in your heart.
A marriage operates on the principle of faith. It is a trust proposition. Marriage is a trusteeship. Faith is a force. Jesus says it can move a mountain. When there’s faith in a marriage the energy system is so incredible. Notice what happens to a young man after marriage. It’s like he’s suddenly found his mojo. He begins to prosper. Fear, doubt and accusation on the other hand are negative forces. They have incredible destructive capacity. As huge as faith is, these forces can whittle it down. That should tell you how dangerous they are. No marriage can survive the ingestion of reinforced doubt, or the assimilation of fear and the blithe of accusation. The emotional health of any spouse cannot endure constant accusation, fault-finding, finger pointing. It’s why nagging is awful. Hiding under its belly is a huge phalange – an accusing finger.
The second reason there’s so much energy in marriage is because of the power of a combine, what we call the power of unity. When a couple weds there is a constitutional unity enacted. Marriage is a spiritual quantity. It is not just a social phenomenon. As Paul enunciated, sex is the graphic enunciation of the oneness of marriage. There’s so much power generated in the constitutional unity of marriage. That because of a spiritual principle of Babelian origin. Concerning the unitary system at Babel God said: “The people are united, they all speak same language. After this, nothing they set out to do will be impossible to them.”
As a oneness the power of possibilities is embedded in marriage. It’s a powerful energy system. That energy can fashion out a new life, give direction and meaning, generate promotion, produce children… Now imagine a couple turning something that powerful against each other! They’ll destroy themselves. Now you understand why acrimonious divorce is so destructive and debilitating. The energy system is weaponised. The energy system in a marriage is more powerful than each individual in the marriage. It’s why people can’t cope when the marriage breaks down. They’re dealing with something stronger than themselves. A tenfold increase in energy is now turned against each individual. The negative energy becomes adversarial and produces depression. Some land in mental hospital.
The bad energy is not the news however. The real news is that there’s so much power available to a couple which they can harness for their good. Think about it: why does a light touch from a partner give you so much encouragement. It’s the energy in marriage! Why does a simple expression of love become magnificent comfort? It’s the energy in marriage! These things are magnified by the energy in marriage. The corollary is unfortunately true. A word of accusation can crush the human spirit. It’s up to you what you want to do with the power embedded in your marriage. You can use it to build each other up, or tear each other down. No mother-in-law can break your marriage if you’re united. No witch either. Satan needs your faith to effect his will. A young man asked me last week if marriage is not overrated and I laughed. Marriage is the most underrated institution known to mankind. It’s so powerful the potency is deterministic.
Your mentor, LA
© Leke Alder | talk2me@lekealder.com