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Read Letter


My dear Jil, there are texts you shouldn’t read, in fact there are people whose text messages you shouldn’t open. If you know someone doesn’t like you or hates you, why read texts from such! You do yourself harm by opening texts from those who hate you. You already know it will be full of poison. Delete without opening. If you already know someone has nothing good to say to you, don’t open his or her text. Words are powerful. They have the means to lift you up, inspire you. But the corollary is also true. Terrible words can demoralize you, bring you down, ruin your day. Block your ears, block your eyes. There are people you should block on your phone. It’s a private appliance not a public access network.

If someone sharpens words like arrows, aiming texts at your soul you should block such texts. That’s your shield. That text from your ex you should never have opened. He’s bitter and angry. And he’s always sending you nasty texts. Look at the effect of his texts on you. That text is so terrible. It was an arrow tipped with poison. It was specifically designed to destroy something in you, to ruin your day, bring you down. The reason you should never encourage such texts through response is because there’s more where that text came from. Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks and the fingers text. There’s always an abundance of nastiness in the heart of someone who sends you a debilitating and ruinous text. It doesn’t matter how such texts start. You can be sure it will end with something devastating. Don’t read. There are text-blocking apps. Download one, unless you want to keep receiving his nasty texts. He’s bitter you broke up with him and not the other way round. He intends to keep punishing you, sending withering texts to you on your phone even though it’s been two years. He knows you, and knows that text will destabilize you. Every opportunity he gets he aims something at you.

Breakages can bring out the nasty in people. For some people it’s wounded pride. Were the narrative different, say he broke the relationship; this gentleman will be revelling in petty triumphalism. But you were the one who broke up with him and he can’t abide that. Why he sends nasty texts. He’s still trying to win. And you shouldn’t be surprised he’s saying those nasty things about you. Some people are sore losers. If you’re as unimportant and as common as he claims why hasn’t he moved on despite moving on? What you have is present continuous emotional abuse and you shouldn’t tolerate it. No, don’t play his game. Don’t send him nastier texts. You’ll become like him, manufacturing bitterness in your heart. The heart wasn’t designed to store poison. Don’t store bitterness in the cabinets of your heart. Simply block him across all media. Mute him on Twitter, ban and delete on Facebook, block his SMS. That’s the power you have and you should use it. You have the right to reject abuse in all forms, textual and corporeal. The problem he has, which he won’t acknowledge is that he’s comparing his new girl to you. He was the one who cheated in the relationship, and yet he’s behaving like the victim. It’s why he rushed to town to tell all those funky stories. It’s to gain first mover advantage, deflect accusations. But people are not fools, except of course the fools and those who voluntarily elect to be fooled. People are not unthinking. They know something doesn’t add up. It’s a matter of time before truth comes out. Truth always comes out. Never mind if there’s a time lag, truth is just making preparations. And when the truth comes out the aroma is definitive and longer lasting. Lies are short-term propaganda tools. Truth wins in the end. Lies require further lies, which soon begin to contradict and fight themselves. His behaviour being at variance with his utterances, will have people soon begin to say, Wait a minute! Truth is like light. The shadow of lies cannot overcome it.

So don’t you worry! Your reputation is safe. It was built through character consistency. Those who care for the truth know who you are. Why do you worry about the other lot? Those who lie against others have a wondrous habit of self-immolation. Be patient. Give them the latitude of time. I’m just saying trying to do retail defence of yourself is an exercise in futility. How many people are you going to approach? And the new girlfriend will soon learn a thing or two. She’ll be credible witness, trust me. When someone sends you nasty words reject them. Don’t rebroadcast. The more we rebroadcast nasty words sent to us the more they assume 3D dimensions. We begin to dwell on them, feeling bad, looking for opportunity to get even, to get revenge. Just counter those terrible words he sent with your mouth. Nullify their influence. And all those curses he sent? Waste of time. An undeserved curse has no effect. As the bird by wandering, as the swallow by flying, so the curse causeless shall not come. That’s 17th century renunciation of a curse I just gave you. Just means an undeserved curse does not come to rest. When we’re bitter we spew bile. The spewing of bile is evidence a heart is full of dark matter. But when our soul is flooded with light, we radiate sunshine and positive energy.

Think good things. And don’t you have an iota of regret you dated him. You can’t afford that regret. Just move on. There’s the good, the bad and ugly. The good ennobles us, the bad wisens us, the ugly cautions us. We’re the sum of all our experiences. Stop picking his calls. Why drink from the brew of the root of bitterness. Don’t just move on with your life, move past your past.

Your mentor, LA

© Leke Alder |


Tags : Ex-Boyfriend

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