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Read Letter

Fevered State

My dear Jack, there is something called fevered imagination which afflicts young men. When we have a desire for a woman our imagination can be so fevered we begin to romanticize what does not exist. Your imagination will produce another version of the lady for you. It will be a warm imagery powered by desire. You will begin to see what is not in the real life person, get pleasure from the phantom your imagination creates. If you juxtapose the real life person with the fevered imagery, the real life imagery will feel cold. Can jolt to reality. The fevered edition of the woman produced by your imagination is desirable because you’re projecting your desires. In other words, you’re falling in love with the woman you created in your imagination, not the real life person.

You’ll need to be jolted out of that state or else you’ll make a terrible mistake. You’ll fall in love with what does not exist. You will like what you don’t like. Why? Because you’re projecting your secret desires, in 4D. Your feelings constitute the fourth dimension. In fevered imagination mode you may fall in love with features you don’t like outside of that feverish medium. Say you don’t like her legs for example. But you may LOVE those legs in a fevered state. If you’re snapped out of that fevered state you’ll then wonder how you could have liked those same legs.

The fevered state often begins right after we meet someone we find exciting who fits into our needs. The intervening period between the first sighting or contact and subsequent meetings gives the imagination room. Imagination will reconstruct the image of the woman and present what we want as her. A meeting the next day may shock us when we realize reality is far from the image we’ve been nursing. Our needs construct images for us and bring them alive. The fevered state is our imagination playing a trick of desire on us. Imagination is an immersive medium, a world on its own in which the characters are real, and yet unreal. It’s how we begin to see what is not there, creating visual justifications.
The fevered state is even more potent when there’s sexual desire. You won’t see what is there. Everything will be defined by that desire. And if you concentrate only on sex, almost every woman will be desirable to you. Actual sex itself can keep you in a relationship you really don’t want. The carnal gratification obfuscates realism and keeps you locked down like frequent flyer miles. And when we’ve built up desire to such a pent-up level we’ll get disappointed when reality doesn’t match our imagination; which is what leads to remorse after sex. It’s like the body suddenly pipes down after being gratified. The emotional desire becomes totally spent. It has no more value. The deed is done, what’s left? Which of course will confuse the girl. She won’t understand why the sudden coldness. Truth is, you only desired her for sex and having gratified that there’s nothing to look forward to again. The relationship only had momentum because you were looking forward to the sex. And all those things you said to her before the sex? It was sexual desire talking not you. You can’t even believe you said some of those things, or did some of those things. One minute you were shouting baby, baby, and the next you push the woman away. She’s going to be hurt. And you’re going to make her feel dejected, especially if she compromised her values for you. It’s like, is it worth it? And it cannot be taken back. (I’m taking time to show you the other perspective).
Of course the fevered state need not be about sex, it can just be ordinary desire for someone as girlfriend. And women understand the principle of the fevered state. It’s why they watch whether you’ll call after a date. Or whether you’ll text the next day, whether the desire for relationship will still be there the day after. Being out of a relationship for so long can produce a fervency that fires up the imagination. It’ll almost be like running ahead of yourself by yourself. And the fevered state can come when we think we’ve finally met someone we’ve been looking for. You’ve got to compensate for the fevered state in your determinations and decision-making.
A quarrel can quickly puncture the balloon of that fevered state, or something we don’t like. When we see what we don’t like after a fevered state we grow irritable. And that’s because we can’t account for our withdrawal. And that’s when some guys try to make it work though their heart is no longer in it. The relationship will go through motions, the guy playing parts he’s not convinced of. He’s having decision remorse. Knowing that there’s something called fevered state, you ought to be circumspect about hasty proposals. Your fevered state may just be what’s creating that proposal, not what you should want. It’s how a guy can propose a marriage within five days. Which is very risky actually. Extremely risky. The two people hardly know each other; it’s that fevered state making the decision.
Even if you work in an insurance company don’t make hasty and risky proposals. Don’t propose marriage to someone you hardly know. You must be a gambler if you do. It may and it may not work out ok. If it works you’re lucky. But you really don’t want to gamble with marriage. Youth by nature is impatient. Knowing that about yourself you need to temper your decisions with wisdom. Marriage is a very long arc. In design it’s supposed to go on for years and years and years. Do everything you can not to have a divorce. And it starts with your choice of partner.
As per your question on Brad and Angy, what do you want me to say? I only know them through movies.
Your mentor, LA
© Leke Alder |
Tags : Choice, fantasies

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