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Possibilty Thinking

My dear Jack, it’s about possibility thinking. You’ve got to believe in possibilities. If you want to be an achiever you must believe in possibilities.

Possibilities are first and foremost inside of you. You meet them on the inside before you see them on the outside. Possibility is your heart pressing against your insides, pushing against the strains, challenging militating circumstances you encounter on the inside, refusing to accept status quo. Possibility is your heart seeking to work out different routes to your future, wondering how to deal with obstacles. It’s your heart breaking down a major challenge into pieces of achievable chunks, all with a view to overcome the challenge identified. You can’t attain unless you believe in possibilities.

Possibility hopes against hope. Possibility believes in attainment. The spirit of possibility never gives up on life. It just keeps straining, keeps pushing every day. Possibility meditates constantly on a desire, on a vision – how to attain it. Possibility thinks of possibilities. It propels a man to do all he can, and then wait at the cusp for that “lucky break” or a change in circumstances. But he does all he can first. If you want to attain you will first have to do all you can before providence can intervene. But if you keep on looking at impossibilities, keep meditating on difficulties, you won’t achieve. You will give up readily, never see a way out. The spirit of possibility just knows it has to keep pressing on, keep marching forward. Sometimes the progress is in millimetres but the man of possibilities is undeterred. He keeps straining against the tide. If you don’t have this hunger, if you don’t make a demand on yourself, pushing yourself forward, propelling yourself, you won’t attain. Life is a series of closed doors. If you don’t make a demand on doors they will not open. You’ve got to keep moving forward. Even if all you can achieve is a centimetre of movement it’s still movement. It’s the effort that counts. You can’t be inert hoping life will deliver the future to you unbidden. You have to push your way through life. You make your way prosperous.

Why do you need to keep pushing? Because achievement begets respect in marriage. Effort is appreciated. That’s the way it is! A good woman will see those efforts and pray something gels for you. She’ll appreciate the fact you’re working hard to provide for your family. But if you give up striving, if you give up trying to attain, you will lose the respect of your woman. Whether you ought to lose that respect is a moot point and academic exercise. The history of marriage says you will lose the respect of your woman if you don’t strive to achieve. Either of two things can happen: she may leave you (sometimes for another man), or she steps up to the plate and takes over. You can’t be a lazy man and be claiming the traditional role of a man in marriage. You lose those rights automatically. She will step up to the plate if she feels your attitude to life will endanger her life and fortune, or that of the children. And when she does, you can’t recover that role again. She’ll be fuelled by increasing achievement. She soon takes on the traditional role of provider for the family. You will either be uncomfortable with it or grow into your secondary role. Of course in a “modern” marriage you may be comfortable not pulling your weight but history tells us most women will rather a man who pulls his weight. And so you have to strive to achieve.

Achievement is not easy. It takes effort, a lot of effort. It takes discipline and hard work. You have to be self-propelled. You can’t rely on external stimuli for motivation if you want to be an achiever. The propellant must be inside you. You have to have a vision – of the kind of life you want, the kind of life you want to live. You have to have a vision – how do you see yourself? Are you going to keep complaining about how difficult it is to achieve or are you going to go after achievement? And it always starts small and discouraging. Know that life is just testing you, testing your commitment and resolve. Without commitment and resolve you can’t attain, you won’t achieve.

You have to stop your ears and block out the cacophony of naysayers. They gainsay every vision, discourage every drive. If you’re looking for encouragement when you start out, chances are you won’t get it. You’re more likely to meet discouragement. But you don’t allow discouragement to discourage you. You have a vision, you have a goal, pursue it. And you just keep on going, keep on pushing on. You’re making progress even if it doesn’t seem so. As long as you’re straining and pushing on the inside you’re making progress. That vision you have of yourself will take you out of bed every morning. (You can’t have a vision and be turning on hinges on the bed, sleeping off your life). Your vision propels you, your vision compels you. You do the painful and inconvenient in order to attain the pleasurable and convenient. You can daydream all you like. If you’re not willing to go for it, work hard for it you’ll remain just that – a daydreamer. And others soon begin to avoid you. You bring no value to the table, there’s nothing to gain from relating with you. They’ll be afraid you’re going to harangue them for contacts, or you’re going to come up with some hare-brained scheme, of just faff around. In other words, they won’t see you as grown up. Your classmates will start avoiding you, stop picking your calls. Whether we agree or not, whether we like it or not life segments achievers from non-achievers. It’s how life functions.

As the years progress life tapers into a triangle – achievers at the top, everyone else below. Those at the top soon form an exclusive club, or join an exclusive club. It’s why we can’t afford to be lazy, whether physical laziness or intellectual laziness. You put in effort. Is it going to be easy? Of course not! If it were, everyone will be an achiever! But you strive and don’t give up. There’s a joy set before you. You have to despise the shame at the beginning. Choose not to be self-aware. The game will change once you begin to achieve. Just keep going, keep pushing, keep pulling, keep hustling. There’s a reward for the hustle.

I hope we talk again soon.

Your mentor, LA

© Leke Alder

For related letters, search for What Do You Want To Do With Your Life, Money, Money Matters 2, Something To Think About at at

You have to stop your ears and block out the cacophony of naysayers. They gainsay every vision, discourage every drive. Click To Tweet
Tags : Purposeful living, How men think, expressiveness

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