My dear Jil, I commiserate with you on the loss of your baby boy. The loss of a child is not easy. It breaks human will. There’s a correspondent ache without pain. You’re numb, just numb, feel nothing. It’s a tough thing. Losing a child can be so tough on a marriage. There’s all that guilt and anger…emotional unavailability… These are raw emotions. Grieving requires a channel. It must be ousted. It’s why it’s good to cry. It’s a catharsis of the soul. The bile is emptied out as we inconsolably vent our pain. Grieving for a lost child can be tough on marriage. The frustration of reaching out for that which is no more can cause one to lash out at those proximate.
Unfortunately, those proximate to us are our loved ones, the ones sent to comfort us. And so we punish them for their love in our grief. Continue reading