My dear Jil, I’ve thought about it. You must be quick to forgive in marriage, not just forgive. How? You just forgive and get on with the rest of your marriage, that’s how. Once you’ve discussed the issue and made your grievance known, just move on. And the only reason you’re vocalising your grievance is so your partner knows what he did doesn’t sit well with you. It’s informational. Because he loves you he’ll avoid a repeat. He’s now conscious of what you don’t like. You’re not telling him you don’t like what he did because you want a fight, or to provoke him or get at him, or to prove a point. That’s shouldn’t be your objective. If that’s your objective you’re working against peace in your marriage. That’s not the point in pointing out an issue to your partner. You must both learn to discuss an issue and move on. That gives marriage continuity without pregnant comas. Continue reading